Page 97 of Hot Mess Express
I lift my eyebrows.
“Stay,” he repeats. “I wanna keep goin’ on with this. Whatever it is, whateverthisis. I want more of it.”
“So I can keep fucking you?” I ask dryly.
“You’re more than that n’ know it.” My finger is still under his chin. He takes it and brings my whole hand to the side of his face. “Keep doin’ this lovey-dovey shit I pretend to hate. Keep carin’ for me. It’s … somethin’ new I ain’t felt before.”
“Alright.”
“Alright? What’s that mean? ‘Alright’? You stayin’ longer?”
I chuckle, watching the near desperation playing over his face and charging up his bright blue eyes like an excitable puppy.“I’ll stay as long as I’m welcome.”
“Promise?”
His gooey-eyed optimism is almost too much. I decide to leave all the rest of either of our questions unasked and unanswered by going in for a kiss. Obviously it does the trick. Anthony melts into my face as his hands take hold of my sides, tugging on my shirt to bring our hips together. I’ll be honest, the fire is very much alive in my pants right now, and it takes an absurd amount of restraint for me to not just hump the shit out of him against this tree, likely in full view of everyone in the house.
I’m not sure I ever felt this way before.
Surrendering myself completely every time I kiss this man.
Allowing myself to be wanted as badly as Anthony wants me. Allowing myself the adoration he’s so willing to pour all over me.
He gives me a purpose I didn’t realize I craved so badly.
A purpose I thought I lost the moment I was discharged.
Is it crazy? To entertain the possibility of staying here in this town? To stay here and try my hand at a totally new life, free from the routines of Army life, free from the worries of protecting my mother and brother, who may not need my protection anymore?
Something about the idea appeals to me, to abandon all of my rules and follow my heart in this moment.
But something else makes me panic.
To realize how reckless it is. How careless. This fiery thing I’ve got going with Anthony, can’t it fizzle out as quickly as it sparked to life? This guy who doesn’t even have his own life sorted out? A complete roll of the dice, dictating my life’s course?
To let go of everything I know, everything I trusted, and take a ticket to board this Hot Mess Express?
22
ANTHONY
It just started with a kiss against a tree in the backyard.
Then our story takes flight in the form of colorful kites in the middle of Spruce Park, all eight of us taking advantage of the windy day. Reverend Arnold and Ms. Davis fly their kite together, a bright blue one with flapping ribbons. Trey is the dutiful one helping Cody figure his own kite out, as he can’t get it in the air to save his life. Juni’s bright pink-and-yellow one gets stuck in a tree first thing, and Pete plays the role of a hero as he recklessly climbs all the way up to free it, only to then accidentally freehimselffrom the tree, too, tumbling to the ground with a shout. The fall looks worse than it is, Pete brushing it off, but then he limps for the rest of the afternoon, with Cody chiding him for being so foolish.
Bridger and I are in our own world, flying a kite together, red and classic, diamond-shaped, and couldn’t care less about what’s going on with the others. We take turns. I tease him when he loses control once or twice, poking him in his ribs. He does the exact opposite when I’m flying, encouraging me and applauding when I achieve an impressive height. Then he hugs me from behind, arms around me, and we’re flying the kite together.
And when I go for a sip at the drinking fountain next to the restroom, he catches me by surprise like he was hunting me, andthe next thing I know, I’m against the wall making out with him.
What the hell is it with us and public restrooms?
Late afternoon, everyone ends up at Biggie’s Bites just like last Sunday, only several hours later, and I’m not in a sweaty monster costume. Instead, I’m joining them at the big table, and the sassy Mrs. Tucker is busy gushing about her son Billy’s big news: he and his husband are renewing their vows. “It’s going to be a big thing! They just announced it. I’m over the moon. And honestly, also a little sick of ‘em,” she teases. “I mean, how’ve they lasted so long and remained so dang happy? Can’t the two share some of their happiness with the rest of us? EvenNadine’sgettin’ cavities.”
“I like seeing people in love,” Juni says over her burger, eyes twinkling in that specific dreamy way only hers do. “It gives hope for the rest of us.”
Mrs. Tucker eyes Juni as if just now noticing her. “Well, you look awful cozy there with someone whoisn’tAnthony.”
Juni has no idea that Mrs. Tucker thinks a certain way about her, which makes her innocent response that much funnier: “Oh, he’s having too much fun playing tonsil hockey with Bridger, and I found someone who’ll let me punish him when he’s been bad.”
