Page 94 of Hot Mess Express
It honestly blows my mind.
How much I’ve denied myself my whole life.
Telling myself what I don’t deserve.
What I can’t possibly have.
What’s possible or not possible.
Then Bridger breaks into my life with a splash of gasoline all over me. I should’ve known something was up. The very first thing he ever did was try to get me out of my clothes by soaking them.
When we’re back on the bed, Bridger fucks me just as hard as he did the night before. But this time, we’re facing each other, and he’s close enough to kiss me.
Something has changed in him from last night. The way he looks at me. The dedication he’s given to me all day, making sure I’m tended to and taken care of. Even in the shower when weboth lost control, I felt so fucking safe.
Safer than I’d felt in my whole life.
And who the hell would think, after all our wild sex in and out of the shower, that the sweetest reward would come after, when he cuddles me naked in bed, holding me tightly against his body, kisses the top of my head, and whispers, “Goodnight, babe.”
Babe. He called me …babe.
21
BRIDGER
The car ride back to Spruce is spent with ABBA at full-blast, all the windows down, and Pete and Juniper singing shamelessly into the noise. Anthony and I are in the backseat, my arm slung over his back, every now and then sneaking a kiss. Twice, he looks like he might’ve fallen asleep on my shoulder, but the smile that teases on his face every time I kiss him tells me he’s awake and just enjoying the ride home.
While the intention was, in fact, to make it back in time for Anthony to honor his self-appointed obligation of attending Trey’s service every Sunday, we’re a handful of minutes too late. After the car is parked, we find Trey among the crowd gathered outside the church, and he is thrilled to spot us approaching. “You four have a great weekend? Cody’s back at the house setting up brunch with our parents. You four are just in time if you want to join us!”
It’s no question, as all four of us are starved after the handful of hours spent cramped up in a car hungover from last night—for more reasons than just the alcohol. Anthony and I must’ve slept hard, because apparently Juniper and Pete went at it for countless more hours after we’d already conked out, and despite how bright and cheery they are this morning, I know the kinky pair of them are running on fumes. An offer of brunch at the house is the warm welcome back we weren’t expecting.
Walking into Trey and Cody’s house after the weekend away feels exactly like returning home, even if this isn’t our home at all. The house is full of appetizing aromas. Cody and Trey’s dad are in the kitchen laughing and chatting away, with Cody’s mom nursing a coffee at the island. Upon us coming in, all the focus is shifted our way, particularly on Juniper, whom the parents haven’t yet had the pleasure of getting to know. “Oh, I dunno,” says Juniper when asked what she’d like to drink, “probably a screwdriver, if you got any good vodka. It helps with the hangover,” she then explains to Trey’s bewildered father, who looks like he swallowed a bug, the way the former reverend squints at Juniper with worry. “Bethie,” states Cody’s mom when Pete tries to call her Ms. Davis. “You’re guests of my son and his husband, I won’t have any of that dang Ms. or Mrs. formality. You’re part of the Spruce family now, and you two are gonna call meBethie.”
Trey’s dad, who might have preferred the formality, gives in and says, “Call me Mitch.”
The brunch itself goes by like an episode of a sitcom I never watched before. The parents sit next to each other, causing Trey to speak stiffer than he usually does. Cody laughs too hard at any attempted joke, especially Pete’s bad ones. Juniper, who sounds like she’s navigating her way out of a strange dream she’s trapped in whenever she talks, keeps interjecting with the oddest remarks. Bethie, just like her son, giggles manically at everything like she’s high—and for a reason I’m fairly sure is the same source of Trey’s deepening anxiety. The parents allegedly had a weekend of their own, though no one’s offering any details about it just yet, and Trey, like his father Mitch, has proven himself to be the type who won’t dig, but rather just stews and worries until someone puts him out of his misery. No one even mentions the eclectic and plentiful spread of food, except for a tiny, “Wow, I hope my stomach is bigger than my eyes,” froma dazed Juniper, much to Bethie’s tearful entertainment, who can’t stop giggling between sips of her fourth mimosa.
It isn’t until after the last chocolate croissant is taken that Bethie asks, “How much longer are you boys planning on staying in Spruce with us?”
Juniper was going for another sip of her juice and stops.
Anthony, the one who took the last croissant, now stares at it without taking a bite, as if forgetting he took it at all.
“Just another week or so, I think was the plan,” answers Pete, oblivious to their reactions. Then he glances at Cody across the table. “Don’t wanna overstay our welcome.”
“Overstay—?” comes Cody. “Stay the whole rest of the dang month if you want. We love havin’ you here. Right, Trey?”
His mouth was full. He swallows quickly to agree. “Of course, yes, you both add so much energy around here. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”
“Hell, move in if you want,” Cody goes on with a laugh. Trey glances at him sideways.
It’s Bethie who, despite her giggles and silliness earlier, keeps it real. “You boys probably have families and loved ones at home you need to get back to, huh?”
“Oh, my mom and pops do just fine without me there in the way,” says Pete with an offbeat chuckle. Then he nods at me. “This guy’s really close with his mom and younger brother. Ached him to leave them right after reuniting with them. Barely a week after getting discharged, we made the drive out here.”
Anthony looks at me after that.
“Really?” sings Bethie, her voice turning sad. “Oh, that’s not much time to spend with them at all. You could’ve delayed your trip here a bit longer, couldn’t you have?”
