Page 61 of Mr. Picture Perfect
Captured.
He continues to gaze into my eyes when he speaks. “I’m glad I’m here, too.”
You can only stare into the sun for so long.
Then your eyes become damaged. Your brain turns into jelly beans. And tears of anguish begin to crystalize on your cheeks like tiny pathways made of diamond dust and salt.
In other words, I ought to look away from his eyes before any of that happens. “I’ll get you some clothes and set a towel out in case you want to, um, shower.” I’d better look away from his eyes at once. Danger is imminent. “It’s been a long day for you as well, and I—” Maintaining eye contact with someone like Cole for this long is bad for your health. “—and I’m sure your face is still greasy from all of the photo shoot makeup. You don’t want to break out.”
“Is that what you’re worried about?” asks Cole softly. “That I might … break out from insufficiently-removed makeup …?”
“I’ve heard horror stories from Tamika,” I reason, still staring into his eyes, still feeling the everlasting assault of his cruel smile, still tempting the devil in his face. “Stage makeup is … is a nasty … nasty invention that … uh, that doesn’t easily wash off.”
“That sounds pretty bad,” he says in a faux serious tone, the kind you’d use with a kid you’re humoring.
“I-I’m being serious,” I choke.
He takes a step closer to me.
I don’t step back. I dare myself to stay right where I am, to let him get closer, to stand my ground.
His smile twists into a smirk. “There are a lot of things in life that don’t easily wash off.”
I swallow. “Like what?”
“Things you can’t see. They’re inside you. Growing. Spreading. Worsening by the minute.”
“Like E. coli …?”
Cole brings a hand to my cheek, gently caressing, his eyes lost in mine. “Feelings,” he answers. “Feelings for someone I’ve cared about for a very long time. Feelings I … I really should have been brave enough to act upon years ago.” He shakes his head. “These kinds of things don’t ever wash off. Once you’ve got them, you’ve got them for good.”
This close to Cole, I can only hold my breath.
Whoever that was a moment ago, that other version of me who was so bold, he fled and left me to my own devices—except all of my devices seem to be rebooting at the moment, cursors blinking, nothing up and operating, everything locked up.
I lower my gaze. “I’m gonna need a little help.”
Cole lifts his eyebrows. “Help?”
“I know it may not seem like it, especially with …” I close my eyes. It’s easier to talk this way. “… with how I acted a moment ago on that bed. A-And in the car. But I’m not really sure what I’m … what I’m doing. With you. Or any of this. I’ve never actually been with another guy. Like at all.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
He processes it slowly. “Are you saying I’m your first—?”
“Everything,” I answer him. “My first everything. I haven’t … I haven’t done any of this before.”
A moment passes. “Then I must say to you, Noah … you are anatural. I would never have guessed.”
I open my eyes, caught off-guard. “R-Really?”
“Yeah. Really.” He lets out a chuckle of disbelief. “Noah, I was out ofbreath. That’s how amazing you are. You kept up the whole time. I didn’t even know you’d never—” His voice softens. His eyes, too. “If I’d known, I would’ve been … gentler.”
“You were perfect,” I blurt, stunning myself. Then I decide to own it. “You were perfect, Cole. I … I don’t think I’d want anyone else to have been my … my first everything. To have shown me … so much about myself already.”
Cole brings his fingers to my hair, as if to brush bangs off of my forehead.
