Page 33 of Ready or Not
I was ready to tell her I wanted to explore something deeper with her.
Yet she never gave me the chance to say my peace.
Or worse, maybe she wanted last night to be a one-time thing while I… again wanted more from someone who didn’t.
“I’m not the problem,” I muttered, though even as the words left my mouth, they felt hollow. Chance raised an eyebrow, his skepticism practically radiating through the screen.
“Okay,” he chuckled, dragging out the word in that annoying way that irked me. “Then what happened? It sounds like you rushed her into something she wasn’t ready for.”
Me?
Rushing someone into something they weren’t ready for?Nah.
“How’s that possible? I was patient with her, I listened, and I thought we had a good night together based on…. No, Iknowwe had a good night together and I didn’t rush shit,” my voice dipped into frustration. “And then she… left like all of it meant nothing. We didn’t even get to talk about it.”
“You sure you ain’t miss any signs?”
I opened my mouth to retort but snapped it shut just as quickly.
Signs…
Had there been signs? Sure, Solène had her moments where she pulled back, moments I observed where she seemed like she was more comfortable skating the surface than diving into deeper waters—but wasn’t that just her being cautious?
Didn’t I show her that caution wasn’t necessary anymore?
“I don’t know,” I leaned forward, rubbing a hand over my face in exasperation.
“That’s your problem right there,” Chance jumped in, smirking slightly. “You don’t know, no matter how observant you are. Sometimes, these women are showing you things in ways that aren’t wrapped up with a nice little bow. Gotta pay attention, man.”
I groaned, slumping into the couch. “So now I’m supposed to be some mind-reading detective or something? Come on, man. That’s not realistic. It's like... what happened to just talking? Saying what you mean instead of playing all these damn games?”
“Women are complicated, bro,” he threw his hand up in mock surrender. “They protect themselves and move on their own accord. Hell… Half the time, they don’t even know what they want until they’re halfway down the road, looking back at you, wondering why you didn’t run after them.”
I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “That’s supposed to make me feel better? That she doesn’t even know what she wants?”
“I didn’t say it was supposed to make you feel better. I’m just saying maybe this isn’t all about you. Maybe she’s the problem.”
I stared at the screen, letting Chance’s words settle like dust in the endless clutter of my thoughts.
The problem wasn’t me?
I wanted to believe him, but the knot in my chest told a different story.
The Solène I got to know was layered, intricate. She was a blend of contradictions—confident yet guarded, playful yet fullof hesitations. That’s what drew me to her in the first place: the depth, the layers she didn’t wear on her sleeve but hinted at with every subtle glance, every unfinished sentence.
But… maybe I’d mistaken those openings for something more permanent.
Maybe those glimpses weren’t invitations to stay… just warnings that I was getting too close.
Maybe… and I hated myself for the thought crossing my mind…Maybe I’m not enough.
Maybe I was never enough for a woman to stay long enough to take me seriously. Maybe that’s why I still hadn’t been in a relationship after all these years of half-starts and almosts. Maybe I was the kind of guy women kept around for a good time, but never for the long haul.
The thought burned deep in my chest, a toxic swirl of confusion and disappointment I couldn’t shake.
All I wanted was to be enough for someone.
Enough for them to stay, enough for them to trust me with their chaos, enough for them not to see me as just a temporary fix.
