Page 111 of Fragile Facade
“Killed Soren, too,” I say, eyes on Soren's blue gaze. “Guess I broke the curse and our bargain.”
“Worth it,” Soren whispers, kissing me with a smile. “Sauder curse is over, Rem.”
Thanks. To. Me.
40
IT’S FUCKING GETTING IT
GHOST
With a bagof chips and a packet of peanuts, I lean against the stone wall of Mom’s cell and look at the unopened snacks. Killian brought them to me. Because he found the calling card that told him I like salty snacks.
Now I’ve brought him a smoothie and he’s brought me snacks, and it’s all so fucking soft that… that I like it when I didn’t think I would. I’m getting too comfortable with him, relying on him for things I’m telling myself I’m just owed. Which brings me back to love and how people know they feel it.
“You ever love dad?”
Mom’s hair is stringy because she refuses to use her shower. I mean, her room is a cell with a gate for a door, but it’s updated enough to have some amenities. Why is she here? Because Remi and Selena thought it’d be a good way to keep her out of the path of the Reaper Corp war, especially after Axel tried getting her mind back with no luck. But me? I want her locked in here as a prisoner now that I know what she did to Dad. Something still ain’t right in her head. I don’t know if that’s Axel’s fault or if she just snapped at some point, but she went from being an alright mom—or so I thought—to a useless sack of skin with a somewhat functioning mind. I haven’t liked her since she cut Remi’s wrist.
“Yes,” she says, leaning against the opposite wall but sitting on her bed. “I love all of you.”
“Why’d you kill him then?”
“He killed himself.”
“You helped him along.” I stretch my legs out straight, cross my ankles, and open the damn chips. “Tell me why?”
“I never intended…” She cries, burying her face in her hands, and I tilt my head, wondering how much of it is a show and how much is real. “I never meant to do it! He told me to!”
The gate creaks open and Krypt comes in, sitting down next to me and stealing my peanuts. He doesn’t say shit, but he crosses his ankles, leans back against the wall, and watches my mom. We snack while Mom cries, neither of us uncomfortable with other people’s sadness.
“Axel told me some shit while he had me,” he says, chewing nuts. “That your mom and Malone were high school sweethearts or something. That your dad was taking too long to succumb to the curse, so she helped him get there faster.”
“I know that part.” I crush the bag of chips, but Krypt keeps talking.
“He also said that she was born into a cult, married a cursed man, left a cult, relied on another cult, and all that time, Malone whispered shit in her ear. Her mind isn’t fucked because of Axel. It’s fucked because she’s been manipulated all her life. She’s just snapping now because no one is forcing her thoughts and she can’t think on her own. Can’t hide it anymore.”
Then how could she hide it all our lives? I’ve heard parents have superpowers, but if she’s been fucked up all this time, she can mask better than Killian can. Perhaps her puppeteer was the one telling her how to be a parent. What’s made her slip up now? Maybe because we’re all grown and she doesn’t have to hide it anymore in order to be our mom. Or maybe she doesn’t have anyone to hide behind now. No more master.
Mom’s still crying, and I don’t know why Krypt is telling me this. Chatting has never really been our strongest point.
“You defending her?” I ask.
“No.”
“She made my dad kill himself.”
“So kill her. The fuck do you want me to say? I don’t give a shit.” He tosses peanuts into his mouth. He sucks at remorse more than I do, so I brush it off and shake my head, eating a few more chips.
“Is love just another form of manipulation?” I ask him, since… he must know, right?
He shrugs. “Fuck if I know. At least it’s the kind that feels good.”
But does it? Because Killian sacrificed his damn life for me back in Reaper City, and if that was love, I can’t handle how terrifying it is. I can’t live through that again. It hurts, and as much as I enjoy a brush with danger, I’ve never willingly hurt myself like this before. Whatever this feeling is, it’s horrifying because it’s so strong and out of my control. I wish I could shut it off, tell myself that I don’t give a fuck about him, and let it all go. But he’s stuck in me, and no matter how many times I remind myself it’s a weakness, the feeling doesn’t budge.
“Remi okay after, uh, Tim?”
“He likes to play the hero. He’s fine. Relieved, I think.” Krypt’s knee bumps mine when he shifts his leg. “Bargain’s over now, Ghost. Where does that leave us?”
