Page 107 of Tales of a Deadly Devotion
‘The shock is normal.’ Their voice was soft, so soft I hated it. Too calm, almost caring.
‘It wasn’t my first,’ I whispered, deciding the truth was better than wasting time weaving lies. Knowing they saw everything anyway. Saw how pathetic I’d become. How useless all my defences were.
‘There is no shame in surviving,’ they offered calmly, stoking the fire with one hand braced on the mantle. The dampness of their shirt clinging to the fine muscles of their back. Revealing more of those summoning runes on their flesh. ‘No matter how we do it.’
‘You might think differently if—’ My words stuck to the roof of my mouth as the voyav’s sharp eyes silenced me with the depth of that strange look that lingered there.
‘Trust me, little nightmare. I know it’s far easier to judge than it is to understand.’ In the hard fury in their eyes, I knew they did. In a way I couldn’t explain.
Trust. The thing I could never do. What they’d stolen from me first.
I wasn’t like Kat. Soft and forgiving. There was something wrong with me. Something hard and cold caging my heart within my chest. My defences built too well, only a few cracks in the bricks. Enough for Kat’s friendship to penetrate but nothing else.
I didn’t know what I was guarding. Everything of value had already been stolen from me. Yet, as I looked at the forsaken creature before me, I felt the danger of their attention. How those amber eyes missed nothing, and I was consumed by the fear they’d peek through those cracks and see just how empty I was.
‘Bloody saints,’ came an exclamation from the doorway. Making me jump, clutching Thean’s fine coat closer, resisting the urge to curl my legs to my chest. My fingers ached for claws but none came. No beasts to hide within as my eyes met a shocked William’s from across the room, his mouth agape at the state of me. Before he shook himself, grabbed one of the blankets off the chair and pulled it around me. ‘Alma, what happened?’
‘I’m all right.’ I smiled weakly despite the pain in my cheekbone. By the depth of William’s concern, it didn’t work, as I trembled so violently.
‘She was hit with verium.’ Thean’s words were curt. Too serious from those usually playful lips.
‘Anti-magic?’ William paled.
Then he scrambled to one of the desks, rooting through a drawer before dropping a small healing case on the cushions next to me. As a bowl of water with a cloth appeared too.
‘First a relic and now forbidden alchemy.’ William swallowed, shaking his head. ‘Emrys isn’t going to like this.’
‘If the bastard makes a reappearance,’ Thean half sneered.
‘The house was—’ I began but the voyav simply tugged that blanket more firmly around my shoulders before they crouched before me.
‘I don’t care.’ Their sharp eyes came back to my face, rage so potent their features shifted between male and female. Seeming unable to settle. ‘They shouldn’t have left you on your own.’
I bristled. ‘They didn’t know.’
Kat wanted me safe and she knew I’d keep that book safe.
Thean glared at me, a muscle jumping in their jaw almost in warning. Tough. They wouldn’t win. Not with me.
‘I’ll get you some healing tea,’ William added awkwardly. His worried brown eyes moving between me and the voyav. Unfortunately, I didn’t have use of my beasts, so I’d have to use my mortal wits to deal with the moody creature.
Too annoyed at myself and why the voyav had chosen now to be overbearing, I stared into the fire. Allowing the heat of it to wash over me, but as always it didn’t penetrate that coldness deep inside of me.
‘Alma.’ My name was too soft from their lips. As if it could be an incantation that held too much power. ‘Your leg is bleeding, it needs tending. Can I touch you?’
A dry sad laugh left my lips. ‘Nobody has ever asked me that before.’
Why would they have? They’d already owned every inch of me. I expected Thean’s sly remark, flirtatious or dismissive.
Yet, it didn’t come. They remained crouched there quietly. Waiting. As if the words from my lips mattered. As if there wasn’t already the memory of hundreds of fingerprints upon my skin. Known only by me.
As if my permission could change something.
‘Yes,’ I answered. A strange honest agreement between us. Something inside of me knowing, even without the curse of all those beasts, that no matter what Thean Page was or what they wanted – they weren’t going to hurt me.
Whatever remained of that curse inside me settled before them like a submissive hound, belly low to the ground.
‘Inside right pocket,’ they instructed, as the warmth of their hand came around my thigh. Easing my leg straight to see the wound. The gentle nature of their touch soothed something in me, made breath slip more easily between my lips, but I doubted they noticed. Head bowed so I could see how the fire played through the auburn strands of their hair, not ceasing their work of picking the thorns from around the wound with tweezers from the healing kit, as if such small things would hurt me.
