Page 58 of Tales of a Deadly Devotion
‘Don’t make excuses for him, Kat.’ She twisted her fingers between my own. ‘He isn’t worth it.’
No. All this time he hadn’t been worth it. He’d kept us there. Used Alma to keep me in place. Used my love for her to form another bar in my own cage. I hadn’t seen it because I hadn’t wanted to.
‘I thought if I worked hard enough it would all be worth it in the end.’ I shook my head. All those hours and all that time trying to be perfect. Trying to become something they’d accept. ‘That if I could beat them at their own game, I’d make it better.’
I couldn’t stop the tears then as I was consumed by the bitterness of my own failure.
‘I wish more than anything that it worked that way, Kat.’ Her voice caught with those words.
As I finally understood there were some things even magic couldn’t fix.
‘This isn’t what I promised you,’ I whispered. Late into the night in that forbidden dark place. I’d told her stories of the northern shores, how we’d see them together. How we’d be safe away from all of this. Yet, instead I’d led us to the centre of a dark storm and I feared more than anything … I couldn’t fix this.
She pulled back to smile at me. ‘You promised we’d stay together.’
‘Alma, this is beyond—’
She tightened her grip, leaning closer so I could see nothing but the bright, vibrant truth burning in her mortal green eyes.
‘I promised we’d stay together too. Don’t take my promises from me, Kat.’ There was a steel in her voice sharper than any blade. ‘No matter how far we go, or what creatures we have to become. We stay together.’
Always.That word wrapped itself around my heart.
‘I’m sorry that—’ I began but she slid from the chair to sit with me on the floor. Her finger rough against my lips as she silenced me.
‘Wefought for our freedom, Kat. Tooth and nail. Never apologise. Not to me. Not for a moment of it.’ Her eyesburnt brighter with the rebellion of her words as her forehead dipped to rest against my own. ‘We fight. We survive. That’s what we do.’
What we’d been forced to do and I wouldn’t guilt myself with it any longer. I wrapped my arms so tightly around her. The way I had that first night. Tucking my face into the curve of her neck.Home.
Her claws formed fists in Emrys’s coat at my back as I curled her closer to me, as I brushed my hand over her curls. Smoothing them as she held onto me.
‘I’m sorry I bit you,’ she mumbled, making me laugh.
‘I’m certain I deserved it.’ I smiled, my palm barely aching now the healing balm had sealed the wound.
I was certain I deserved worse for what I’d put her through. Only now the most important thing was holding her. Offering her that safety as the fire sank in the hearth to the barest embers and she sagged in my arms, finally accepting her exhaustion. Finally resting once more.
The house creaked, the edge of the rug next to my leg rising to tap my thigh gently to claim my attention.
I turned to find Emrys standing in the doorway, mid-step as if he’d been looking for me. His hair damp as if he’d been caught in a rainstorm, coat missing because I was wearing it, shirt untucked.
‘You’re back,’ was my quiet greeting. Alma didn’t move in my arms, too deep in her sleep.
‘Montagor appears to be quite lazy in sourcing locations for his summonings,’ he answered, coming into the room, the concern in his gaze running over every inch of my face before it dropped to Alma in my arms.
‘Is she all right?’ He frowned.
‘She was restless but I think she’s finally out now.’
‘Let’s get her back in bed,’ he offered, carefully taking her from me as if it was the most natural thing in the world. To handle Alma despite the fact she’d tried to bite Gideon twice.
I moved around him to pull the covers back on the bed so he could put her in. Tucking her in tightly as she curled automatically into her small pile of pillows. Then Emrys guided me back to the doorway as if cautious of disturbing her.
‘She says she’s fine,’ I sighed, feeling my shoulders sag with my worries. ‘It’s late. I should leave her to rest.’
Alma always was too light a sleeper and my presence probably wasn’t settling her as I wanted it to. Not when those creatures beneath her skin guarded her so closely. When they could probably sense the unease in my own magic.
‘You don’t believe her?’ he observed. Easily able to read me.
