Page 118 of Tales of a Monstrous Heart
Tears escaped my eyes; I shook my head. Unwilling to believe it, but he captured my face so gently between his palms.
‘I hunted down the author, only to discover they lied. And so did the next, and the next. Months it took me to find the crumpled and stolen source material in one of the old record halls. Papers on healing curses, the beauty of mythical beasts and the nature of the darkness we should fear.’
I couldn’t quite breathe, but ruthless as always, Emrys didn’t stop.
‘Then Hale asked for my help. As if Fate were pushing me to an answer.’ He stopped there for a moment, eyes clear and full of a strange longing pain. ‘Then I saw you. Trapped. That sadness in your eyes. Their endless cruel games, and yet, you didn’t cower.’
I tried to see myself that way but I couldn’t. I was too far from that version of myself now. He’d brought me too far.
‘I chose you because I needed you, Kat.’ His voice was steel, unequivocal, and firm. ‘Not because you’re Kysillian, not because of Hale or for being the apparent scourge of the Institute.’
His head dipped until our foreheads touched and I found myself leaning into the warmth of him, foolishly wanting things I shouldn’t from him.
‘I neededyou.’ His eyes closed as if pained.
You.The single word broke my heart, to be something more than the magic inside of me. More than their bargaining chip. More than my foolish fate.
I’d needed him too. The moment I’d pressed my words to those pages, I needed someone to read them, to know it was real before they took everything I had left.
His magic brushed my skin in comfort, reminding me too vividly of the seduction of his touch as he began to pull back.
‘I won’t take things from you you’ve worked so hard for, Kat. They’d ruin you for it, for my weakness in not letting you go.’ His eyes drifted to my lips before he corrected himself, jaw hard with restraint.
‘I was ruined the moment I was born, Emrys.’ I allowed the pain of that truth to consume me. The bitterness towards my parents for trying to teach me any differently. ‘If you think I care what those old bastards think of me, you haven’t been paying attention. I make my own decisions. No matter how much you regret yours.’
‘Regret.’ He repeated the word sinisterly.
‘Shame, remorse, regret – pick a term. I’m certain it will fit,’ I mocked, moving to turn, to flee – only for his arms to come around me, to bring me back against his front.
‘You’d be very wrong, Kat.’ His words were a wicked thing that brushed my ear. ‘Wrong for thinking I haven’t wanted to kiss you every day since you set that ghoul on me.’
‘I didn’t set it on you.’ I wanted to snap but my voice didn’t sound steady as I turned to glare up at him, finding our fingers interlaced at my waist. ‘However, you’re giving me wonderful ideas.’
I wouldn’t mind setting a ghoul on him right now.
‘You’re under my house. My protection. I’m not going to—’
‘I wouldn’t say the house likes you very much at the moment,’ I interrupted, and to emphasise the point, the drawer beneath the table opened to whack into his hip, making him mutter a curse at the furniture, but he still didn’t let me go.
‘And I can protect myself just fine.’ I turned in his arms, knowing I’d proven that. Perhaps finally proven it to myself most of all.
‘It was just a kiss, Emrys,’ I finished, unable to focus on anything other than where his hands still rested at my waist, how my own had somehow curved around his forearms. ‘A moment of madness.’
‘You’re a terrible liar, Croinn.’ His head tilted, smile devious.
‘Then what a wicked pair we make,’ I taunted, leaning forward with my ferocity, only for one of his hands to capture the side of my face again with such gentle reverence I felt my anger slipping from my grasp.
‘I can’t lie to you.’ There was a desperate longing to the quietness of those words. ‘For once in my life I wish I could.’
‘Really?’ A huff of a bitter laugh left me, only to be stifled as he ducked his head closer. His thumb dragged across my bottom lip. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Having another moment of madness.’ That teasing smile was still there as I watched his eyes bleed to complete darkness.
‘I’m still angry with you,’ I whispered, almost desperately trying to find my will.
‘I know, Croinn,’ he answered, barely brushing a kiss at the corner of my mouth. My fingers curled into his shirt as I felt his smile sharpen at the tremble in my lip.
‘Out of all the punishments I’ve endured, why is being forbidden to have you the worst of them all?’ he whispered against my cheek, such desperate sadness pressed into each word it made my heart break.
