Page 54 of Tales of a Monstrous Heart
Too many things had gone unsaid between me and Emrys. I’d put him at a disadvantage, taking the truths he offered, but still keeping my own secrets. Alma’s change making a mess of his hallway was something I also needed to see to before the house took it personally.
My eyes fell to that tapestry, now discarded on the floor. The gold stitching and deep green threads hinted at expensive. By the shape of the figures and the Ridion language, I suspected it was an artifact of the twelfth century, and he’d used it like a blanket. For me. Because I needed his help.
He’d come to help me when he should have been turning me in for the liar I was.
Rising from my perch that I watched moment to pull as if in a steady breath before I ventured back out into the strange reality of this world.
Emrys lingered in the shadowy hall, head bowed in thought. His coat was missing and sleeves rolled up as if expecting another healing job at any moment. From his fingers hung my jacket.
The door clicking shut behind me made him look up, those eyes pitch black in the dim hallway. I pressed my hands behind my back against the door so he wouldn’t see them tremble.
‘Cursed root.’ His head tipped up as he watched me cautiously. ‘That was used to help bind slaves in the Mage King’s reign.’
‘It quietens her power enough for her to heal,’ I said. ‘Three days is sufficient.’ It was the only thing I’d found that worked so far. ‘I haven’t been able to find anything else that works.’
No matter how hard I worked, the solution for helping Alma still eluded me, making it only more evident why theycalled transfiguration a curse. Why most beings who possessed it had been killed out of mercy.
‘Wild magic.’ He sighed. Those two words had been so deadly for so long, and yet they were so cautious and soft from his lips. ‘The secrets of beast transfiguration were lost for a reason.’
Because they were deadly to those who wielded the magic. Caught and used. Tangled in blood bargains to make them weapons against mortal kings by the rebellion. That menagerie had used Alma for entertainment … and a few centuries before she would have been used for sport.
‘Those were shackle marks.’ He considered me carefully, anticipating any lie that would leave my lips as he held out my jacket to me.
I should have been scared but I saw no danger in Emrys’s eyes, only a challenge. If I lied, Alma would be safer, but I’d put everything I’d built here at risk. I’d hidden everything for so long, fearful of the consequences, but I couldn’t live another day of lies. I needed to be braver than my fear.
Only fear can bind your hands.My father’s words came back to me, just when I needed them. I knew I needed to finally trust in this partnership.
Then there were Emrys’s words that night. When he could have turned me in for keeping a ghoul as some demented pet.When you realise how brilliant you are, Croinn, I think we’ll all be in trouble.The memory of them dissipated my fear, my hands coming out from behind my back. My decision was made.
‘The Council patrol found her in a menagerie,’ I began. “She was kept for amusement as a child. It isn’t my story to tell but I made her a promise to keep her safe,’ I began, trying to work out which part of the talewasmine to tell. ‘She was too sick to make it to the fey healing houses in thenorth. They already saw her as a lost cause, and … Daunton was closer.’
On the coldest of nights, I’d forced her to live. Bullied her into surviving, perhaps selfishly because my fear of being alone was greater than my fear of failure.
‘She’s the reason you wrote about septime weed,’ Emrys summarised, gathering that fact from the words I hadn’t spoken.
‘I wouldn’t let her die like that,’ I admitted. No matter the punishment I’d been given for it, the marks that still covered my back. ‘Couldn’t. The only thing that divides us is the fragility of luck, and we both know I am anything but lucky.’
He’d seen how the Council treated me and he’d seen firsthand the brutality of this world. No, I wasn’t lucky, but then again, considering him and his scarred skin, maybe he wasn’t either.
‘I’m sorry about the mess in the hall,’ I offered weakly, unsure how to navigate this new dynamic between us. ‘I—’
‘She’s the luckiest being in the world to have a protector as fearless as you,’ he cut in matter-of-factly as he considered me with clear eyes.
‘Stubborn is a better word.’ I smiled weakly.
‘Stubborn then.’ He nodded, coming even closer to offer me my jacket, only for me to wince as I reached for it. A horrid burning pain seared up my arm.
Emrys took my forearm carefully, his gaze darkening as he turned my arm, revealing a blood-soaked sleeve and a deep gash from one of Alma’s stray claws.
‘That needs looking at.’ His lips were tight with displeasure.
‘I can do it.’ I sighed, annoyed with myself for not noticing sooner as I tried to see the extent of it. The red drips on my dark skirts and on the hallway floor were another unpleasant surprise.
Gently, a single finger came beneath my chin, forcing me to look up at him, a softness to his features that diminished any arguments I could form.
It wasn’t the worst thing to be cared for, I thought. I’d allowed myself to forget that.
‘I think you’ve done enough for today, Croinn,’ he replied, a small smile lingering at the corner of his mouth. And then I realised: I didn’t want to sit alone putting myself back together like all the times before.
