Page 46 of Tales of a Monstrous Heart
‘You’re going somewhere?’ I asked as he straightened the sleeve of his jacket.
‘Paxton Fields. I need to see where it began if there is a chance in containing it.’ He leant past me, the warmth of him brushing against my arm as he picked a battered pocket watch from his desk and stuffed it into his pocket.
I frowned. ‘You really suspect it will be that severe?’
He pulled back slightly, close enough I could see the dark flecks in his light eyes. ‘I’m not a fan of surprises, so I like to expect the worst.’
I couldn’t help the soft laugh that left me at those words. He didn’t like surprises and I seemed to be the worst kind. First the Council’s wrath and then the ghoul.
‘Speaking of surprises.’ He reached into his interior coat pocket with a pensive expression. ‘I think this belongs to you.’
There, contained gently in his fist, was a small brown familiar mouse squeaking away in annoyance at being caught.
‘Alma !’ I lunged for his hand, my fingers wrapping around his own as she crawled free.
‘She was in my dresser,’ he replied dryly, a dark brow raised. I almost dropped her with my shock, my face burning with the scandal of it.
Why on earth would she be running about his underthings?
‘She … she gets confused sometimes in such small forms,’ I lied, refusing to look at him as I dropped to my haunches, skirts spilling carelessly across the wood floor.
‘Stay out of trouble, and out of other people’s rooms,’ I hissed under my breath, watching as she sat back on her hind legs, ears flat. ‘I’ve left you papers on the desk to study, pages eight to thirty-five.’
She released a chorus of squeaks in protest, but I held out my hand to silence her and got back to my feet, planting my hands on my hips in my best Alma-annoyed impression.
‘It’s what you get for being nosey,’ I warned, watching her nose twitch once before she darted off between two bookcases.
A dry laugh came from behind me, making my heart jump, but as I turned, Emrys’s expression had returned to its usual impassive mask.
‘Thank you for helping her.’ I tucked the stray strands of hair behind my ears.
‘Much like you, Kat, I don’t do things for thanks,’ he corrected softly.
No, maybe not, but he did it for some reason and the cavernous grief in that room came sharply to the forefront of my mind.
‘Why this?’ I asked. ‘Of all the things to do, why this?’
Master Hale always made it seem impossible. That change or working to help the fey like this was nothing but an impossible, cursed task. I’d believed him, and maybe that was my greatest shame.
Emrys went still at my words. Something crossed his expression, making me fearful he wouldn’t answer. Maybe it was his own surprise of never being asked before.
‘You could say it comes naturally to me,’ he said, and shrugged, only there was some heavier emotion lingering in his gaze. Guarded. ‘I wasn’t allowed to be a healer. Heir’s are born to serve their house, even if it leads them down a wrong path. So I suppose, this is some feeble attempt to fix things. Even the unfixable. A fools, attempt to save his soul, perhaps,’ he finished with a self-mocking smile.
Only those words resonated too deeply with me. The regret and grief trapped in the small spaces between them.
‘We find ourselves being many versions of what we once wished to be,’ I countered. ‘And there is no harsher critic than ourselves the further we go down a path we never wished to walk.’
I knew that better than anyone.
A silence came between us, nothing but the distant ticking of the clock as he considered me carefully for a long breathless moment before simply nodding, as if to shake a thought from his mind.
‘Here.’ He reached past me to pull a large file from his desk. ‘They’ve been validated. If the contents give you any trouble, I’ll send them back for a second verification.’
I opened the creased cover and there inside were the pox records from four fey villages. All authorised by the registrar. The pox evidence I needed to finish my paper.
My heart pounded with a confusing swell of emotion. Not even Master Hale had helped me like that. So effortlessly.
The retreating of his footsteps made my head shoot up, seeing him ready to leave once more. Remembering something else I shouldn’t have forgotten.
