Page 93 of Must Love Bees
Charlie’s jaw flexed so tight, Astrid worried he’d crack a tooth.
“Six o’clock,” Aunt Camellia said.
“We’ll see you then. I can’t wait.” Lindsay left, her husband following, but Astrid never took her eyes off Charlie.
The door closed and she took his hand. “Come with me,” she whispered, leading him into the storage room. Watching him struggle tore a hole in her heart. “Would you like a moment alone?” She didn’t want to leave him but whatever he needed, she wanted him to have it.
He shook his head, his hand tightening on hers.
“Breathe,” she whispered.
He took a deep breath, then another one, forcefully exhaling each time. He’d close his eyes, then open them, focusing on her.
“If I’d known that she...that your family...” Astrid shook her head. “You don’t have to do this, Charlie.”
“I’ll have to face them alone at the reading of the will on Saturday.” He took another deep breath, exhaling loudly. “I might as well have backup the first go-round.” His hand squeezed hers, still breathing—still intently focused on her.
She nodded. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” He rolled his shoulders, took another deep breath and blew it out.
“What can I do?”
“Nothing. This is up to me.” He shook his head. “There are two ways to deal with your inner demons. One method is facing them head-on, the other is removing them from your life. I’ve removed them, but this still happens.” He was breathing easier now. “I guess it’s time to confront them.”
“You won’t be alone Saturday. I’ll be there, too.” She had no idea why Rebecca had left her in her will, but she was glad to be going now. No matter what happened, Charlie wouldn’t be alone.
He pulled her into his arms. “Good.”
Astrid clung to him, fighting against the tears that burned her eyes. He didn’t need her tears. He needed her strength. He wanted her strength. He had it. No matter what happened, he wouldn’t be alone.
CHARLIEWANTEDTOthrow up. He had for the last twenty-four hours. Why the hell had he agreed to this?
While he was relieved his parents weren’t coming, he didn’t want to see Lindsay. Part of him suspected she’d said they were coming just to mess with him. He wouldn’t put it past her. Bottom line, he didn’t want his family to take up any more space. Family or not, he didn’t need or want them in his life.
But he did want to show them they were wrong.
He wasn’t worthless; he was capable of taking care of himself and his girls. He’d found a family that had accepted him. He’d found a woman that saw that he was broken but, so far, she hadn’t laughed at him or left him.
I love you, Charlie.
The last three days, those four words had given him purpose. He wanted to be worthy of love. Not just Astrid’s, but his daughters. Every day, he’d carved out time to spend with them. Astrid had opened his eyes to what he’d been missing but it was up to him to build a relationship with each of his girls. It was important that he do this on his own. That he was capable.
But he’d missed Astrid every damn day.
He’d come to the boutique because he couldn’t take it anymore. Astrid was important to him. When she wasn’t near him, the world wasn’t as bright. She’d brought that brightness into his life and, even though he didn’t want to let it go, he wanted what was best for her. That was why he felt it was important for her to know at least twenty reasons she shouldn’t settle for him. She needed to have as much information as possible to understand that he wasn’t good for her. She’d changed his life for the better, but it would crush him if he changed her life for the worse. He’d pored over the list and added them to the carefully crafted speech he’d written on index cards and tucked into his wallet. He’d never get the words out on his own.
But the speech had been forgotten the minute he’d walked into the boutique.
Now he was driving to Astrid’s place doing his best to keep it together.
If history repeated itself and he couldn’t keep his panic at bay, it would be bad. Surprisingly, he didn’t give a damn about what his family would say and do. It was the Hills he was concerned about. Dane and Van, men he’d come to respect. And Astrid. Always Astrid. He didn’t want to humiliate himself in front of them.
He parked, grabbed the flowers off the passenger seat and headed for the front door. Before he could knock, Astrid pulled it open.
“Hi.” She was beautiful.
“Hi.” He shook his head.
