Page 9 of One More Made Up Love Song
“They can’t hear over the sound of the engine,” I say.
“Yes, we can,” Seth says from his bunk. “But do carry on. I’m curious how this will pan out.”
Ivy gives me a look that saysI told you so, but I’m too far in to turn back, so I scowl right back, then climb up the ladder at the foot of her bunk and drop myself onto her bunk, pulling the privacy curtain closed behind me.
“Oh my gosh,” Ivy says as she shifts closer to the wall. “Are you serious right now?”
“I’m just going to sit right here,” I say as I try to angle my long legs into a comfortable position in the small space. My knee knocks against the wall, then my head bumps against a different wall. “Oof,” I grunt as I rub at the spot on my head. “This was probably a bad idea.”
“You think?” Ivy says, then she sighs. “Here, just stretchout this way. These bunks really aren’t meant for sitting, so if you’re staying, you’re just going to have to lie down.” It takes some maneuvering and more than a few grunts and grumbles from Ivy, but I finally manage to stretch out beside her, head propped up on my elbow. I catch the faint scent of Ivy’s hair, and a sudden wave of uncertainty washes over me.
We areclose.Really close. We aren’t touching, but I can smell her. Feel her body heat. Hear the soft inhale of her breath.
It’s not like Ivy and I never touch. Our friendship is casual. Easy. But we aren’t hugging every day. We’ve only hugged a few times, actually. Once when I got the news of my latest Grammy nomination. Once after the Midnight Rush reunion show when emotions were high for everyone. Once when I was stressed about a particularly brutal stretch of tabloid gossip that was entirely fictional. Well, and tonight, I guess.
I’ve always gotten the sense Ivy isn’t much of a hugger, which is why it feels so notable that twice in one night, I’ve found myself this close to her.
Admittedly, I am the one who wandered into CVS and created a situation in which she had to save me, and I amalsothe one who just climbed into her bed.
Come to think of it, maybe Ishouldn’tbe so surprised she wants to move out.
“You’re ridiculous,” Ivy whispers.
“Yes,” I say, ignoring my insecurities. “You know this about me. Now, tell me the truth. Why are you moving out?”
She sighs, then she reaches up and turns off the light.
When she doesn’t say anything, I ask, “Is that a sign you aren’t willing to talk?”
She huffs out a sigh. “It’s a sign that if we’re going to talk about this, it will be easier in the dark.”
My eyebrows lift. “Okay. That’s fair.”
She’s quiet for a long beat before she finally says, “I don’t have a life, Freddie.” The words are quiet, her tone soft, maybe even a little wistful. “I mean, I have a life. And it’s a good one. I love working for you. But…it’syourlife, you know?”
Her words aren’t an exact echo of the thoughts I was wrestling with earlier, but they’re close. Here lately, it hasn’t felt like I’ve had much of a life either. At least not the kind I want.
“I don’t have my own friends,” Ivy continues. “I don’t have my own apartment. I haven’t been on a date in who knows how long. I’m not sure that’s normal.”
“You date?” I ask. A knot tightens in my gut at the thought. It isn’t discomfort, exactly. Just an uneasiness I don’t expect. In the five-plus years she’s been working for me, if Ivy has ever gone on a date, she hasn’t talked to me about it.
She scoffs. “Yes, I date.”
“When?”
“I went out with the pilot who flew us to Paris. Blake.”
“That was two years ago.”
“Which only illustrates my point,” she says. “Iwantto date, and I can’t when I’m living in your house.”
“I don’t understand why you can’t just date living where you live. Does it really make a difference?”
“Of course it makes a difference,” she says. “Your house is amazing. But it’s a little intimidating. If I want a guy to pick me up at my doorstep, I have to give him a five-step checklist on how to get through Wayne.”
“I could talk to Wayne about that,” I say.
“But it’s not just that,” Ivy says. “When people know I work for you, all they want to talk about isyou.I just think a little bit of distance would be good for me.”
