Page 80 of Petals and Plot Twists
“Then…I guess I hope you have a good time,” I say, despite my hesitations. Honestly, at this point, what do I know? Mom seems happy. Who am I to say that flitting from one man to the next isn’t the perfect way to live? But I can’t keep myself from asking something I’ve never asked her before. Maybe it’s because my emotions are all so raw, but I just can’t pretend anymore. I can’t pretend like what we went through is normal. “Mom, why did you and Dad split up?”
She’s quiet for a long moment, so I know my question surprises her. “Well, where did that question come from?”
“I’ve been thinking about our conversation, when you said I was the one who’s hiding.” I pause and take a deep breath. “The thing is, I have a really big thing happening in my life right now. A person I think I might be in love with, but I’m so crippled with fear and anxiety about what might happen, and I just—I worry it screwed me up to see you dating so much.” The words surprise me, not because I don’t think they’re true, but because I’ve never said anything like them to my mother before.
“Oh, Sophie,” she says gently. “It’s impossible that it didn’t. That’s the hard part about being a parent. You do your best to handle your problems, to shield your kids, but there’s always fallout.”
“You did a good job, Mom. I was happy, healthy, safe. I just don’t have a lot of confidence in love. I mean, Dad left. Charles left. And every other man you’ve dated—they’ve all left, too.”
“Honey, your father didn’t leave. We got a divorce, but he didn’tleave me.We both wanted to end the marriage.”
A weight drops into the pit of my stomach.
“What?”
Mom breathes out a sigh. “We weren’t happy, Sophie. We were never happy.”
“Then why did you get married?”
“Because I was pregnant with you.” She chuckles lightly. “And believe it or not, because a fortune teller at the county fair told me your father was my soulmate.”
“Wait, what? How have I never heard this story?” I lean back in my seat, glancing around the parking lot in search of David. I’m happy when I don’t spy him anywhere, because I really want to know what my mother is talking about. I always knew I was conceived before my parents’ wedding. Mom is visibly pregnant in all the wedding photos. But I’ve never heard anything about a fortune teller.
“It wasn’t really about the fortune teller,” Mom says. “It was more about you. But your father and I—we didn’t get along all that well. We had great physical chemistry, but we fought all the time. We never saw the world the same way, but I’d just found out I was pregnant, and I wanted to believe we could turn ourselves into a family. When the fortune teller claimed she’d had a drink of the famed Serendipity Springs water and could see love, I latched onto the claim with my whole soul. And we did try. Both of us did. But six years is a long time to live a lie. We finally decided to call it, figuring the younger you were, the easier it would be for us all.”
“So youweren’theartbroken when he left,” I say.
“I mean, it was a change, sure. But no. Your father did not break my heart.”
“Then why do you date so much?” I ask, still struggling to believe Mom’s version of her life. “I thought you were trying to protect yourself. To avoid another heartbreak by never letting a relationship get serious. That’s textbook behavior, Mom. You of all people should know that.”
She chuckles. “True. But that isn’t the case for me. I know it’s hard for you to believe, Soph, because your heart is so different from mine. But I really am happy. Maybe I will settle down one day, if I ever meet a man who makes me want to. But I’ve always been a free spirit. I like being my own person. I like spontaneous trips to Paris and eighty-day world cruises, but I also like knowing that at the end of the day, I don’t need anyone else to be happy. I have myself, I have a gorgeous daughter I’m proud of, and that’s enough for me.”
I sit in silence and let my mother’s words sink in.
“Sophie,” Mom says gently. She’s using her therapist voice now. “I probablywashiding a little at first. Protecting myself from the possibility of heartbreak. And I won’t pretend that every choice I make is perfect or that I don’t have things to work through on my own. But I want you to listen to me very closely, okay?”
I sniff against the threat of tears. I really don’t want to cry seconds before I go on a date. Though something tells me this date might not actually happen after all. “Okay,” I say, voice shaky.
“You’re different than I am,” she says. “Your heart is so big and so pure. You’ve always been made for loving people, for giving people your whole heart.”
“Then why have I never been in love?” I ask. “I’ve tried, Mom. I’ve dated and dated. But I’ve never had a relationship last longer than a few months. And I’ve been so scared that it’s because I’m just like you. That I’m subconsciously pushing everyone away.”
It’s the reason I latched onto the idea of using the flower to find myownhappily ever after. It was a guarantee in a world that usually doesn’t offer one.
“You have, though, haven’t you?” Mom says. “Your relationship with Peter has lasted years.”
“Yeah, but we were just friends. That’s different.”
“I would argue you’ve always been a lot more thanjust friends,” Mom says. “But even if I’m wrong and your relationship is purely platonic, friendships are still relationships. They require vulnerability and honesty and commitment. There’s nothing wrong with your heart. You’re still so young. You have plenty of time to fall in love. And if you want it, you’ll absolutely find it.”
“Wait,” I say. “You always thought Peter and me were more than friends?”
“Honey,everyonethought you were. That boy looked at you like you were the sun, moon and stars all at once.”
The tears are definitely falling now, and I don’t stop them. “He was pretty great, wasn’t he?” I say. “He’s still pretty great.”
“I ran into Evelyn the other day,” Mom says. “She said something about Peter moving to Charlotte. How are you feeling about that?”
