Page 74 of When Alec Met Evie
Alec shoots me a look, his lips lifting into a tiny grin. “I mean, I don’t want to come to Thanksgiving, but...”
I smile, some of the tension finally draining out of my shoulders. “I can’t blame you there.”
But as I follow Alec’s directions and drive the rest of the way to Felix’s, a tiny pulse of fear settles low in my gut. Devon already managed to ruin my life once.
I just hope he doesn’t try to do it again.
CHAPTER 19
EVIE
“Okay,I’m going to put you on the spot,” Gracie says to me halfway through dinner. Since Felix’s dining room table is enormous, all six couples are seated for dinner. Alec introduced me to everyone when we arrived, and it took me a minute to get everyone’s names, but I think I have them now. Eli and Bailey, Van and Amelia, Nathan and Summer, Logan and Parker, and of course, Gracie and Felix.
I’m seated between Alec and Bailey and directly across from Gracie.
So far, everything about the evening has been perfect and lovely. Juno fell asleep and settled into her portable crib without so much as a whimper, the conversation has been easy and comfortable, and Alec has basically stayed by my side all night long. A hand on my shoulder. Fingers brushing down my arm. A leg pressed against mine under the table.
Right now, he’s turned away from me, talking to Van and Nathan about their fantasy hockey teams, but at Gracie’s question, his hand slipped under the table to squeeze myknee, so he must be paying at least partial attention to my conversation too.
I swallow a bite of the most delicious chicken parmesan I’ve ever had and raise my eyebrows. “Should I be nervous?”
“Not at all,” Gracie says. “I just want you to talk about yourself. About your violin. Are you any good?”
When I met Gracie at the symphony concert, Victoria mentioned that I played, but only in passing.
“And don’t hold back,” Gracie adds. “I need you to legit brag. If you have any qualifications, I want to hear them.”
She seems like she’s asking for a very particular reason, so I swallow my first inclination, which is to deflect and self-deprecate and tell her what she wants to know. “I went to Juilliard. And I was concertmaster of the Julliard Orchestra my senior year.”
“Shut up,” Gracie says. “That’s amazing. Have you played anywhere since?” It’s a valid question. With a résumé like that, I could have gotten an audition at any number of symphonies around the country.
“I was seven months pregnant with Juno at my final concert,” I say. “I took a break, for obvious reasons, and I actually didn’t play again until just the other night.”
“She sounded amazing,” Alec says from beside me. So hewaslistening. He grins as nudges me with his shoulder. “A lot better than she did when she was eleven.”
I elbow him in the ribs, and he chuckles.
“Okay, so I’m just throwing this out there,” Gracie says. “I have this quartet, and our first violinist is moving at the end of November. It’s pretty low-key. We mostly do weddings, the occasional corporate function. But the pay is decent, and we only rehearse if we need to learn new music. Mostly, we just play standard wedding stuff, which I’m sure is music you already know. Are you interested?”
The thought of having a reason to play again makes my heart ache. Once upon a time, I hadbig dreamswhen it came to playing the violin. Getting into Juilliard was the first part of that plan. But I wasn’t going to stop there. I was going to work my way up through the music scene in the city until I was on stage at Lincoln Center, playing with the New York Phil. It wouldn’t even matter if my tiny Manhattan apartment was too cramped and too far from the subway because I would be living my art—mydream.
Until it wasn’t my dream anymore. Because it couldn’t be.
Still. With all my experience, I probablydoknow all the music Gracie’s quartet plays, and it would feel so good to make music again. But the idea of committing to anything when Juno is still so young feels really overwhelming. “I don’t know,” I say. “With Juno, I’m not sure I’d…”
“I could help out with Juno,” Alec says. “At least when I’m in town.”
“Me too,” Summer adds. “I don’t usually travel with the team, so I’m around more than Alec is. I’d love to babysit.”
“I would too,” Bailey says from beside me. “My schedule’s a little crazy with school, but if I’m around and not studying, I’d love to watch her.”
All the offers of support somehow make me feel both incredibly grateful and equally uncomfortable. I don’t like taking advantage of people. I don’t like beingneedy.Juno is my responsibility. Other than leaving her with Ruth so I can go to work, I haven’t used any babysitters. Maybe because I’m so determined to take care of her on my own. Or because it’s hard to imagine leaving in the evenings when we aren’t together all day long. I’ve mostly resigned myself to the fact that I just can’t do anything extra until she’s older.
At the same time, it feels really good to be at this table, surrounded by people who seem genuinely invested in offeringtheir support. My friends in New York were always more Devon’s friends than mine, and it was always a very obvious division. But even though these are also Alec’s friends, it doesn’t feel like that at all. We just met, but there’s still an openness here, a sincerity and sense of inclusion that I haven’t experienced since I was a kid hanging out at Megan’s house all the time.
Before Juno, whenever I dreamed of my future, it mostly just involved my music. But I’m starting to wonder if my dream was missing something—missingthis.Community.
It isn’t just about Alec, though I won’t deny the tiny thrill that shoots through me when I think about being here in a more officialgirlfriendcapacity. It’s also about how easily Gracie complimented and appreciated my talent. The way everyone is volunteering to help with Juno with selfless ease. The way they all clearly love and support each other.
