Page 31 of When Alec Met Evie
“No fries for you?”
“It’s your dinner,” he says, but something in his tone makes me think that’s not his entire reason.
“And you’d rather not eat greasy salty fries?” I lean over and grab one and pop it into my mouth. It’s hot and delicious and perfectly crispy.
“I cheat every once in a while,” he says. “But eating healthy is part of the job.”
I grab another fry. “I think I’d have to get a different job.”
He chuckles. “Says someone with the metabolism of a twenty-three-year-old.”
“Whatever. You probably burn a billion calories a day. Your metabolism is just fine.”
He grins and takes a huge bite of the barbecue burger. He lets out a little groan that makes a tiny ribbon of heat unspool in my belly. “Oh man. Okay, that one is really good too.”
“Where are Theo and Carter?” I ask.
“At a team dinner,” he says before taking another bite. “At Felix’s.”
I frown. “You didn’t go?”
“Nah. I stayed back at the Summit to ice my knee, then just came home instead.”
There’s definitely something Alecisn’tsaying. While it would be nice to think he came home just so he could hang out with me, I don’t think that’s it.
Juno finally finishes and leans back, craning her neck the slightest bit like she wants to look at Alec.
I shove my boob back into my bra and tug my t-shirt down.
Alec glances my way as I lift Juno to my shoulder to burp her, and his cheeks turn the lightest shade of pink, a contrast to several days’ worth of stubble growing along his jawline. I glance down and realize my t-shirt is still hiked up, the bottom half of my bra only half concealed by Juno’s body. “Oh gosh. Sorry. Didn’t mean to flash you there.” I shift Juno to the side and adjust my shirt.
Nothing like exposing Alec to the more glamorous sides of motherhood right out of the gate.
“It’s fine. You didn’t,” he says quickly. He clears his throat, and I suddenly wonder if my earlier assessment was wrong, and Alec reallyisn’tcomfortable with me breastfeeding in front of him.
I’m not going to be happy if he isn’t, but this is his house, and beggars can’t be choosers, so I feel like I have to at least ask. “Does it bother you that I’m feeding her out here?”
His eyes widen. “No! Absolutely not,” he says quickly. “Feed her wherever you’re comfortable. I was just wondering if…” His words trail off, and he clears his throat. “Actually, never mind. I’m not going to ask you that.”
“Does it what?” I repeat back. “Just ask me.”
He looks at Juno, then takes another bite of burger, chewing and swallowing before he finally asks, “I was just going to ask if it hurts.”
I lift my eyebrows as Juno lets out an enormous burp. “Good girl,” I say, patting her on the back. “What? Breastfeeding?”
He nods.
I stand and buckle Juno into her bouncy seat, then reach for my plate, balancing it on my knees. I’m surprised that Alec is asking, but I’m alsoglad.A lot of the friends who came to see me after Juno was born mostly just seemed uncomfortable with all the ways my body has changed. “It did at first,” I say as I reach for another fry. “The first few weeks or so. She made me bleed.”
I don’t realize how shocking my words sound until I look up and see Alec’s horrified expression.
Maybethisis why my friends were uncomfortable.
But I don’t want to diminish the things my body has endured. There is a grittiness to motherhood, a vulnerability that has left me bold and bare and honest in new ways. This is my reality now. There’s no reason to sugarcoat it.
“Are you serious?” Alec asks. “That’s horrible.”
I shrug and let out a little laugh. “Honestly, after everything else I went through to get her here, bleeding nipples didn’t feel all that bad.”
