Page 107 of When Alec Met Evie
“So you get to have it all, then. Date the guy you want, live on my parent’s dime, while I’m…” His words cut off, like he realizes he was about to say too much. He drops back onto the sofa with a huff.
Without saying another word, I stand and move to my purse and pull out my phone. I sit back down and dial Devon’s mom. He looks at me, frowning as the phone rings.
When his mom answers the call, he rolls his eyes.
“Hi, Karen. How are you?” I ask.
“Good, dear. How are you? I loved the last pictures of Juno you sent.”
“Good. I’m glad.” I eye Devon. “Listen, I just wanted to make sure that I was being honest with you about everything. I really appreciate that you’re lending your support while I’m doing my apprenticeship. It means so much to me, but I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage, so I want to be fully transparent and let you know that I’m dating someone.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful news,” Karen says. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Things are getting pretty serious, so if we end up getting married and my financial situation changes, I’d love to have a conversation with you about it.”
Devon’s muscles are tense, like he’s just waiting for me to out him to his mom, but Karen’s words are as gentle and loving as Iexpected them to be. “Oh, well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Maybe after, if you no longer need the help, we could start a trust for Juno. Save for her future education expenses.”
“That would be amazing. And no matter what, Karen, you will always be a part of Juno’s life. I promise.”
“You can never have too many people loving you,” Karen says. “That’s what I always say.”
“I absolutely agree. Listen, I’ve got to run, but maybe we can do a video call in the morning so you can say hi to Juno.”
“Oh, I’d love that,” she says, her voice full of a warmth and sincerity that I hope Devon hears all the way down to his bones. “We love you, Evie. Kiss Juno for me.”
I hang up the call and look right at Devon. “I’m sorry, what were you saying about your mom?”
He frowns and scoffs, all the feigned affection from before, his talk of wanting to be a “real family” completely gone. But he’s also lost his fight. I called his bluff and took away his leverage. He has nothing to hold over me now, and he knows it. “It’s really great for you,” he says, his words hollow. “That you’ve won my parents over and have their support. Meanwhile, I’m in New York, and they won’t help me withanything.I can’t find work, I can’t pay rent…you know how hard it is to live in that city, Evie. I’m drowning.”
A tiny shred of compassion unfurls in my chest. I do know how hard it is to make it in New York. But it’s not nearly enough to negate theickof Devon coming down here in the first place, pretending to want a family just to have access to his mother’s generosity.
“I want things to work out for you, Devon,” I say. “I do. And I’m sorry you’re struggling. But you can’t use my heart as a pawn in whatever game you’re playing. And you definitely can’t use Juno’s.” I stand, making a decision I hope I won’t regret. “Stay here a second,” I say as I leave the room.
I cross through my kitchen and back to the bedrooms where I find Juno awake in her crib, feet kicking. She smiles when she sees me appear.
“Hi, baby girl,” I say as I reach in and pick her up. I carry her back to the living room and sit down on the couch across from Devon, keeping Juno tucked onto my lap.
“She has your mouth,” I say. “And my eyes. She loves bananas and sweet potatoes and pears and she gets really cranky when she’s sleepy, but if there is anything exciting happening in the house, she does not want to miss it. She’ll fight sleep for hours if she thinks she might miss the party.”
Devon smiles. “Sounds like me.”
I watch him for a long moment while he looks over at Juno, emotions playing over his face.
“She’s the best thing I’ve ever done, Devon,” I say softly. “The best thingwe’veever done.”
Juno squirms in my arms, wanting to stand, and I let her, her chubby legs bouncing as she lifts her hands to my face. I kiss her palm, and it makes her smile.
Devon lets out a little laugh. But then he’s quiet for a long moment before he finally says, “I’m not built for it, Evie. I know that makes me terrible. But…I’d just disappoint her.”
A part of me wants to tell Devon to step up. To trust that any sacrifice he makes for Juno will feel worth it ten times over. No parent ever fully feels equipped. But you learn. You try. You figure it out as you go. But I know Devon too well. If I pushed him, he might try. But how long would it last?
That last sentence was probably the truest thing he’s ever said to me. It’s selfish and unfair and disappointing on several levels, but I don’t want to put myself or Juno in a position where we’ll ever be resented.
Devon glances down at his phone. “My ride is almost here.”
So that’s it, then. He doesn’t want to hold her. Isn’t moved by seeing her. He just…isn’t cut out for it.
I wonder how long he would have lasted had I actually been willing to take him back.
