Page 71 of Once Upon a Boyband
I suddenly feel very uncomfortable with my level of devotion to Midnight Rush through my teen years. But then, my fandom was very private. I might have made one too many scrapbooks full of band memorabilia, but I wasn’t lurking outside of hotel rooms.
“Sorry,” Ivy says. “I probably sound so cynical. I love Freddie’s fans. He couldn’t do what he does without them. I’ve just been doing this long enough to see the downside. But enough about me! How long have you and Deke been together? Wait. Sorry. I mean Adam.”
“Uhh—” I breathe out a nervous laugh as I think back to the conversation Adam and I had the night before I drove down. The plan is to keep the story simple. Be vague on timelines. Stick to the truth regarding how we met. And lie as little as possible.
I’m honestly surprised Ivy doesn’t know the truth already. Adam told Freddie. Shouldn’t he have told his assistant? I’m tempted to walk onto the dance floor and kick him in the shins fornottelling her, because now I’m having to juggle uncomfortable questions with lies for answers.
“It’s still pretty new,” I say. That feels safe.Newcan mean all kinds of things.
Ivy studies me. “Okay, I almost buy it, but you’re gonna need to deliver with a little more conviction.”
I freeze. “What?”
She leans a little closer. “Freddie told me everything,” she says. “Don’t worry, because your secret is totally safe with me. I’m just saying, your delivery could use some work. Confidence, right? You have to talk like you don’t questionatallwhat you’re doing here or why the two of you are together.”
I huff out a laugh. “That means I would have tonotquestion what I’m doing here in the first place.”
“Oh, please. You’re here because the guy is totally in love with you. Everyone is going to buy that part because it’s true. Claiming you’re a little more serious? Easy peasy,” Ivy says with a casual wave of her hand.
My stomach bottoms out when Ivy says the wordlove.She’s so casual about it. Like it’s no big deal. Like it’s how Adamactuallyfeels even without our fake engagement.
It’s too soon for me to believe it’s true. But the hope that flares in my chest at the thought says a lot about where my feelings are headed.
“Honestly, it’s a smart move strategy-wise,” Ivy continues. “Some women won’t care. Engaged, not engaged. They’ll throw themselves at whomever like it does not matter. But most will respect the love story. I know it was all accidental, but I’m glad you’re keeping it going. You’ll create a little bit of a buffer for Adam, which, based on what Freddie has told me, is only going to help him.”
I know Ivy is trying to be encouraging, but hearing her talk about the complications of Freddie’s fame, and now, Adam’s, at least until the concert is behind us, leaves me feeling queasy and unsteady on my feet.
I’ve thought a little about what it means to bedatingAdam. But I haven’t considered at all what it will mean if the entire world thinks I’m his fiancée. Will people know my name? See me at the concert? Will I just be some faceless, namelessideaof a fiancée that no one ever sees?
Keeping up the charade so industry people don’t talk and start unnecessary rumors is one thing. But broadcasting theengagement to the world, to fans—is that going to happen too?
It makes sense that the information might become public. And that suddenly feels like a very big deal.
Maybe it doesn’t have to be. Maybe I can just go back to Lawson Cove after this week and Adam can do theDekepart of his life without me. But is that what he’ll want? What would be best for him?
Knowing what I know about what he’s been through, I feelveryprotective of him. I want to be around because I want to make sure he’s okay. I want to be able to hold his hand at the end of the night and listen if any old feelings get stirred up. I want to be a safe place for him.
I have averyeasy time imagining myself in a relationship with Adam.
But imagining myself in a relationship with Adam when he’sDekefeels like a different matter entirely. I am not boyband girlfriend material. I’m not sexy sweaters and thigh high boots. I’m hoodies and jeans. Even when I dress up, it’s in basic wrap dresses made out of enough fabric to keep the girls and all my lady bits fully contained at all times. No accidental nip slips for me, thank you.
I don’t think for a second that Adam would expect me to change to look the part.
But the court of public opinion can be brutal, and I don’t think any of the guys, especially Freddie, want anything but positive press surrounding this concert.
“Freddie had the sweetest things to say about the two of you after he came home,” Ivy continues. “At least he did once I murdered him for disappearing in the first place.” She rolls her eyes. “The man hasn’t traveled without security inyears,and he just up and left. Drove out of Nashville like itwas no big deal and leftmeto explain to his security team, his agent, hismother. It was a complete mess. But that’s—” She pauses, her words dropping off mid-sentence. “Oh. Oh, gosh. I freaked you out, didn’t I? I did. I can tell by your face.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I think I just hadn’t thought abouteveryonebelieving we’re engaged. Like, thewhole worldeveryone.”
“Ohhh. Right. Adam told you about theTMZarticle?”
My eyes widen. “What? There’s aTMZarticle?”
Ivy clears her throat and grimaces. “Did I sayTMZarticle? I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Ivy, please tell me,” I say, pressing a hand to my stomach, like the gesture alone might calm my growing nausea.
She breathes out a sigh. “I’m sure Adam will mention it, but honestly, it wasn’t that big a deal. It didn’t mention you by name, just announced that Deke is engaged.”
