Page 103 of Once Upon a Boyband
And I’ll have to be okay with that.
But Adam deserves to know how his mom really felt.
And he has to know that whether he thinks he deserves it or not, I’m not going anywhere. Maybe I’ve always taken the path of least resistance, made the choices that are safe and practical. But Adam is worth fighting for. I’m not giving up.
And I’m not letting him give up either.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Adam
Dolly is not goingto be adopted through Hope Acres.
I think I probably knew when I named the chocolate lab who was dumped at Laney’s office that she would end up being mine. Sarah picked her up and got her settled while I was in Silver Creek. But as soon as I found her in the barn, I brought her inside, and she’s been my shadow ever since.
Goldie took to her right away. She seems content to let the younger dog do the heavy lifting of keeping me company while she stretches out on the porch in the patches of fall sunshine filtering through the trees.
Dolly’s energy has been good for me. She’s always up for a walk to the ridgeline or a game of fetch—she’ll bring a ball back five hundred times if I’ll throw it for her.
But by Saturday night, a week after I walked out on Midnight Rush for the second time, five days after I last saw Laney, even Dolly can’t pull me out of my funk.
I realize thatIam the problem here. I am the one whohasn’t texted Laney back. I’m the one who has thrown myself into work, ignored Freddie’s texts, ignored Jace’s apology.
If someone were to type in my story to one of those “Am I the Asshole” threads on Reddit, where strangers get to weigh in on your behavior, I have no doubt the answer would beyes: YTA.
I turned my back on my friends.
I’m ignoring my girlfriend.
I’m hiding from everyone.
But every time I think about responding, about texting, about reaching out myself, I feel sick. Like there’s something physically restraining me, filling me with this overwhelming sense of dread.
Somewhere in the logical part of my brain, I know that I need to move past this. That hiding from everyone who is important to me isn’t the answer.
I have also begun to doubt that hiding frommusicis the answer.
When Freddie sent over the final cut of “The Start of Forever,” I couldn’t believe how good it sounded. That is a song I wouldloveto release.
I just don’t know how.
Probably therapy.
A knock sounds on my door, and Dolly stands, ears perking up as she looks at me, like she’s asking if this is something that should alarm her.
I don’t feel alarm—but I do feel hope. It feels shameful to admit it after how I’ve been acting, but I really want Laney to be standing on my porch.
ItisLaney, and as soon as I open the door, it’s all I can do not to immediately pull her into my arms. I have no idea how I walked away from her on Tuesday night, but I neverwant to walk away from her again. This feeling—it’s not just a craving. It’s aneed,deep in my bones.
For a long moment, I just stand there, taking her in. There’s an uncertainty to her posture, like she’s unsure of how I will respond to her being here. But there’s a determination in her eyes that makes up for it, like she has a purpose and she’s prepared to hold her ground.
“Hey,” I finally say.
“Hey. Can I come in?”
“Of course.” I step back, making room for her to pass me, then I close the door behind her and follow her into the living room.
She pauses when she sees Dolly stretched out next to Goldie in front of the fireplace. “You’re keeping her,” she says.
