Page 89 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
“We did it. I couldn’t have done it without your help.”
“This is amazing.”
“It runs next month inBeyond.
His eyes go wide. “Next month? How did you even pull that off?”
“Honestly, I just got lucky. An editor friend of mine got word they had to pull their feature article. Something about an arrest and criminal charges? I didn’t get the whole story, but it opened up a spot, and I had an article they could use to fill it.”
“Has Brody seen this yet?”
“Not yet. I just got it myself. That’s why I’m here.”You know. Among other reasons.
“He’s going to freak,” Griffin says. “You think it’ll actually work? That it’ll save the program?”
“I don’t know. I hope so. But it definitely can’t hurt.”
He carefully tucks the proof back inside the folder it arrived in. “Thanks for doing this, Kate. Brody’s lucky to have you.”
I smile, unsure how much Griffin knows.
I clear my throat, willing my inner jealous voice to calm down. I can only control what I can control. My feelings are my feelings, and his feelings are his feelings, and I will approach this conversation like an adult.
“Kate?”
I look up. Griffin is still holding the folder, waiting for me to take it.
“You okay?” he asks. “You look like you swallowed a frog or something.”
I take the folder and give my head a little shake. “I’m good. Great. I’ll just wait for Brody outside.”
Waiting outside is not a smart move.
From the picnic table behind the shop, I have a clear view of the river. Brody is in the water, shirtless except for his PFD. There is a single kayaker in the water with him, a woman who is young and beautiful, at least from what I can tell through all her gear, and clearly enamored with Brody. She’s too far away for me to really tell, but she could absolutely be the woman he was with over the weekend.
I’m just about to turn and go when he looks up and sees me.Great.Now I’m stuck. And I’m too far away to read his expression.
I remind myself that I’m here to show him the magazine proof. And that won’t change even if he’s already asked the new girl to marry him.
Plus, I’m done running.
I will have this hard conversation.
I won’t let fear keep me from being vulnerable anymore.
The lesson lasts about fifteen more minutes. Brody’s teaching the woman how to roll her kayak upright after flipping upside down without getting out. I saw Brody do it when we were in Robbinsville and he was in the middle of churning whitewater, but it’s almost as impressive to watch him teach the maneuver to someone else. I’m not close enough to hear what he’s saying, but he’s using his hands, gesturing to his hips, the boat, the paddle. The woman in the kayak appears to be listening intently. She nods whenever she’s ready to give it a try, and then she rolls into the water. Over and over, her hand shoots out of the water and taps the bottom of the boat, which must be Brody’s signal to roll her back up. But then, finally, she does it. She rolls herself back up, her smile wide, and drops her paddle onto her lap to give Brody a two-handed high five.
I’m a ball of nervous energy by the time Brody carries the woman’s kayak toward the shed on the other end of the parking lot. His PFD is draped over his arm, exposing every inch of histoned, tanned, glorious chest. I watch as he puts away the rest of the gear and says goodbye to the woman, who, based on their interactions after the class, I’m pretty sure isjusta student and not a personal friend.
That doesn’t stop me from worrying over how much Brody might have enjoyed teaching her. I’m a complete mess. One stupid picture on the internet, and I’ve lost my grip on reality.
But it’s more than that. I’m scared about the other woman because it’s a surface-level thing that’s easier to worry about than all the other fears pulsing through my brain. I don’t truly think Brody went and found himself a new girlfriend since last week. There are a million different explanations for the photo. I knowthis.
I’m just plain scared.
Scared he doesn’t feel the same way. Scared if hedoesfeel the same way, I’ll still end up hurting him. Scared that he’ll hurt me. Scared that if things don’t work out, we’ll lose our friendship.
I can’t imagine my life without Brody in it. I don’twantthat life.
