Page 400 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
“Oh, great. So happy to have met him. Maybe I’ll throw a party of my own and see if he’d like to be my official photographer.”
Flint’s expression darkens. “What are you even saying?”
“I’d like to ask you the same question. You’re talking to me like it’smy faultEd Cooper was on that terrace. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I don’t appreciate you talking to me like I did.”
Flint lifts his hands, some of the fire draining out of his voice. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s absolutely not your fault. He shouldn’t have been there, itwasa private party, and the fact that he found a way in doesn’t have anything to do with you.I’m sorry,” he says again.
I fold my arms over my chest. “Thank you for apologizing.”
“But Audrey, you still have to be cautious. In this city, you have to assume there isalwaysa creep lurking in the corner. You can’t wander off on your own. You need air? Nate goes with you.You want to go on a walk? Nate goes with you. You want food? Nate or Joni takes care of it. That’s the only way this can work.”
His words knock the wind right out of me. That’s the only way this can work? Theonlyway our relationship can work?
I want to protest, my natural instincts rearing up to claim my independence, assert that I’m perfectly capable of doing things on my own. But then I close my eyes and feel the photographer’s hand closing around my wrist, and a shudder goes through me.
I understand what Flint is saying. Safety is important, and as long as I’m with him, I have to think about it differently than I did before.
I also know the thought of having people hovering near me, watching my every move, waiting on me hand and foot twenty-four hours a day makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.
I thought I could do this.
Iwantto do this. Iwantto be with Flint.
But my fight or flight response has been triggered, and all my body wants to do is flee.
“What if I don’t want people waiting on me like that?” I ask, my voice small. “What if it feels too weird? Weird and presumptuous and pretentious and so many other words that make me uncomfortable.”
“It’s their job,” Flint says, an edge to his voice.
“No, it’s their job to serveyou.”
“And you, as long as you’re with me,” he says without hesitation. “You’re the least pretentious person on the planet, Audrey. Nate and Joni aren’t going to mind.”
Moisture pools in my eyes, and I press them closed, letting the tears slide down my cheeks. “It isn’t about Nate and Joni, Flint. It’s aboutme.We both know this conversation is aboutme.”
He holds my gaze for a long moment, then he drops back into his seat, his jaw resting on his hand.
Neither of us says another word until we’re back in our hotel room. By then, it’s close to two a.m., and talking is probably the last thing we need to do. I can’t speak for Flint, but I’m exhausted all the way down to my bones. On top of that, my heart is heavy, my emotions a confusing mass of raw, jumbled feelings.
Flint shrugs off his jacket and pulls off his tie, then unbuttons the top few buttons of his shirt. He runs a hand through his hair, looking just as tired as I feel. “Should we talk about things?” he asks, but there’s no oomph behind his words. He doesn’t want to talk any more than I do.
I shake my head. “Let’s just get some sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”
He nods, his expression grateful as he steps out of his shoes.
I do the same, slipping out of my heels, then I pause. I really don’t think I can get out of this dress by myself.
“Flint, can you help me with my dress?”
He moves in behind me without a word, his fingers brushing against my skin as he slowly unclasps the tiny hook and eye at the top of my dress, then slides down the zipper. I press my arms against the bodice to hold it in place, closing my eyes as sensation dances up and down my spine.
“Thank you,” I say, when the zipper reaches my waist.
He lifts his hands, his fingers briefly brushing across my exposed shoulders before he steps away. “I’ll give you a minute,” he says, and then he disappears into the bathroom.
It only takes a few more minutes for us to both be ready for bed.
Flint turns off the light and settles onto his pillow without even saying goodnight.
