Page 37 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
“It is that small, Miss World Traveler. You haven’t lived here in a decade.” He turns his head frontward, so it’s tilted up toward the ceiling and closes his eyes. “Your memory is probably cloudy after so long away,” he says, a teasing lilt to his words. “Just wait. Another few weeks of seeing the same twelve people every day, and you’ll get what I mean.”
“There are more than twelve people living in Silver Creek.”
He opens one eye. “Fine. But they’re all already married.”
I chuckle. “Every single one, huh?”
“Lennox has been trying to get me up to Asheville with him, says dating is much more happening up there, but...I don’t know. I just haven’t been feeling it lately.”
“Dating in general?”
“It’s stupid, right?” He lifts his arms up and props them behind his head, giving me another welcome glimpse of his biceps. “I mean, I know what I want, and the only way I’m going to find it is by dating. But the whole scene makes me tired.”
“If only a woman could fall out of the sky and land in your lap.”
He grins. “That’d be perfect. You’ve been all over the world. I’m sure you have extensive resources. Think you could hook me up? Find a woman willing to settle for small-town life in Silver Creek?”
I don’t know if he’s intentionally sending me a message, but I’m hearing one loud and clear anyway. His life is here. And no matter how much attraction zings down my spine whenever I’m around him, unless I want to make my life here too, there isn’t a future for me and Brody. Not as anything but friends. A twinge of sadness flits through me at the thought, but that’s crazy.So crazy. I can’t even begin to think about what a life in Silver Creek would look like for me.
I sigh, a little piece of me wishing I had the same dream. There’s no doubt I want to be in love, but I’ve never imagined myself settling down. A house, two kids, a white picket fence, a dog. Brody had that growing up. Of course he believes he’ll find it for himself.
But me?
I had parents who were divorced before I started preschool. A mom who resented me every day of my life and resented my father for taking me away every summer and every holiday. Family has never been a safe space for me.
“What about you?” Brody asks. “Are you happy?”
I’m not sure there’s anyone else in the entire world who could ask me that question without making me feel like they’ll judge my answer. But Brody has only ever wanted the truth from me. And he’s always held whatever that truth is with the same quiet confidence he’s done everything in life.
“No,” I finally say. “I don’t think I am.”
He frowns, but I shake my head and reach out and touch his arm. “That sounded worse than it is. I’vebeenhappy. But I’m tired, you know? I keep feeling like there’s something else out there, something I haven’t found yet and...I don’t know. I’ve been all over the world, Brody. What could I possibly still need to find?” I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. “Maybe that’s why I was willing to come back to Silver Creek. It’s what they say when you’re lost out in the woods, right? You’re easier to find if you’re sitting still?”
He nods. “That’s true.”
“Maybe if I sit still for once, what I’m looking for will find me.”
“Maybe you’re looking for ahome,Kate. A family.”
I drop my head onto my knees. I want his words to be true, but all I do is shrug. “That’s always been your dream, Brody, not mine.”
Something in his eyes dims, but the warmth in his expression doesn’t change.
“Hey.” He reaches over and pats my knee. “You want to go with me to pick up my dog?” It’s an abrupt subject change, but I’m happy for it.
“You have a dog?”
“A basset hound named Charlie. He stayed up at Stonebrook while I was gone.”
“I saw him! He was sleeping on the porch when I went to visit.”
Brody sits up. “He probably didn’t even flinch when you walked by, did he?”
“He was laying in the sun. Kristyn wondered if he was dead.”
Brody chuckles. “That sounds about right.” He stands and holds out a hand. “Come on. There’s a Gator out back. We can take the trail through the woods, just like old times.”
I slip my hand into his, noting way too easily how warm and strong it feels against mine, and let him pull me to my feet. Heholds my hand for a beat longer than I expect him to, giving it a little squeeze before he finally drops it.
