Page 151 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
I lift an eyebrow. “Not ever?”
She purses her lips. “Okay. Our first online conversation, you were a little cold. And yesterday in the field, I wanted to punch you in the nose when you dismissed my suggestions. But most of the time? You’re a pretty nice guy, Perry. Like it or not.”
“What is it they say about nice guys finishing last?”Or losing the girl.
My jaw clenches, but I shake the tension away. I don’t regret losing Jocelyn. Not anymore.
Lila shakes her head. “It’s not true. Not in the ways that truly matter.”
My eyes are down, focused on the stitching in the picnic blanket Lennox left with the basket. It’s the same one Mom used when we were kids. I don’t know where he found it, but I’m glad he did. “Maybe . . .” I say slowly, too nervous to lift my gaze to hers. “You make me want to be a nice guy.”
She’s shaking her head when I look up, but I don’t miss the smile spreading across her face or the color filling her cheeks. “You hardly know me, Perry.”
“Okay,” I say boldly. Hopefully not too boldly? “What do you want me to know?”
She winces and bites her lip. “Um, hold that thought? Because I actuallydoneed to tell you something. And it might make you change your mind.” She barrels on before I have the chance to reply. “Remember when you asked me to respond to the woman emailing about the reunion? I did respond and declined the invite. But the woman emailed again this morning. And it’s pretty personal. Personal enough that I know it’s your ex-wife who has been writing the messages.”
I heave out a sigh, but I’m not surprised that Jocelyn messaged again. I don’t even need to read the email to guess at its tone, especially if it made Lila feel like she needed to tell me about it. Jocelyn has always had a manipulative edge to her. Which is thenicestway I can currently think of to characterize my ex-wife. I can think of a slew of other ways, none fit for any kind of company, especially the company of the woman I’m currently trying to impress. But I promised my therapist I’d stop dwelling on Jocelyn’s more frustrating qualities and try to leave the past in the past, appreciating the good times we had together and moving on from everything else.
Some days, it’s easier than others.
“What did she say?” I finally ask.
Lila pulls out her phone. “Here. I can just let you read it.”
She hands me the phone, and I skim over the email. By the time I get to the end of it, all I can do is laugh. I hand the phone back. “That’s very Jocelyn.”
Lila frowns. “You aren’t upset?”
“At you? Not at all. I’m sorry you got roped into this drama. I shouldn’t have asked you to respond in the first place.”
Lila bites her lip. “But, it isn’t true, is it? You aren’t still wallowing and missing her? That’s not why you aren’t going to the reunion.”
I run a hand through my hair. I don’t mind that Lila asked, I just have no idea how to answer. Rehashing the reasons for a divorce isn’t exactly first date material, and I’m not even sure I can call this a date. I’d really rathernottalk about something that might keep anactualfirst date from happening.
“I’m not wallowing,” I finally say. “I’m not going to say the divorce wasn’t awful, but I don’t have any regrets about our marriage ending. But you have to understand, this is how Jocelyn works. She tried to make myattendingthe reunion about her. When it became clear I wasn’t going to, she decidedshe’d need to make mynotattending about her. Either way, she controls the narrative, which has always been her end goal.”
“Doesn’t that make you mad?”
I shrug. “If I think about it too hard. Generally, I just don’t. Which is why I don’t want to go to the reunion.”
Lila shifts so her knees are under her and she’s sitting back on her heels. She looks poised for action, which makes me suddenly nervous. “No,” she says. “I don’t like this at all.”
I lift my eyebrows.
“Perry, you have to go. She’s probably going to tell everyone all these lies about why you aren’t there. She can’t get away with that.”
I sigh. “You sound like my mom.”
Lila nods. “I knew I liked her.”
“Look. I appreciate the thought. I do. But trust me. It isn’t worth the effort. Not with Jocelyn. She always finds a way to twist things.”
“Are there other people who will be there who you might like to see?”
I think about all the guys from the football team. A few of them still live in town, but most have moved away. Silver Creek isn’t exactly a hotbed of business and industry. It’s hard for people to stick around. It would be nice to see them. “Maybe,” I finally admit. “A few.”
“Then you have to go.”
