Page 138 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
Lennox:Like a robot. Got it.
Perry:How was that robotic? I said I was sorry. That I’d try to do better.
Brody:It’s a fine apology if all you want is to be her boss. If you want more, you have to up your game.
Perry:I realize that. That’s why I’m texting you idiots.
Lennox:Okay. Let’s get specific. What do you know about her?
Perry:That she works for me. And she has a five-year-old kid. And she drives a blue SUV.
Brody:That’s it, and you know you want to date her?
Lennox:She’s also beautiful. He’s leaving that part out.
Flint:#hotmoms
Perry:She’s also. . .I don’t know. She’s happy. Even though she’s been through stuff. I like that about her. And she smiles a lot and includes stupid apple puns in her messages.
Brody:I like her already.
Flint:When will you see her again?
Perry:At work tomorrow.
Lennox:You should send her to the goat barn with Mom. Women love Mom.
Flint:And baby goats.
Brody:This is a good idea. If she falls in love with the farm, she might be willing to tolerate you.
Perry:I don’t know why I thought you guys could help me.
Brody:Wait, wait. I can be serious.
Brody:Make eye contact. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Tell her something personal. Compliment her, but not in a creepy way. Ask her questions about herself and listen with your whole body.
Lennox:And for the love, FEED HER. I’ll leave a packed lunch in the back of the fridge for you.
Flint:This is good stuff. You should call me over lunch. I’d be happy to say hello.
Perry:Not helpful.
Perry:But lunch would be great, Len.
Flint:What? What woman doesn’t wantPeople Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive to tell her hello?
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Flint:GUYS. Come on. I was kidding.
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