Page 65 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
“Kate, just talk to me.”
When she opens her eyes, there’s a storm raging behind them. “I’ve been offered a job,” she says simply. “That was the email I got right after we finished kayaking. It was a job offer. And it’s in London.”
All the air whooshes out of my lungs. Even knowing it would come to this—to her leaving—it’s still a gut punch to hear her say it. It’s too early for us to already be having this conversation. “A job?”
She nods and eases away, and for once, I’m grateful for the distance. I need space. Air. Clarity.
“A real one,” she says. “Not freelance work. Salary, benefits, all of it.”
I channel my inner calm. The deepest part of my love for Kate wants only what is best for Kate. Even if it sucks for me. “That’s...wow. That’s great.”
“I didn’t even apply for it. Didn’t expect it. It’s with this travel magazine calledExpedition. They’re flying me out next week for a meeting.”
“Next week?”
“Just for a few days. I leave on the fifth.”
As my heart rate slows, my grip on reality returns, and I remember the things a friend would say in this situation.
True,friendswouldn’t have been kissing two minutes ago, but Kate already labeled the kiss a mistake. I don’t have any choice but to get on board. “That’s really amazing,” I say. I clear my throat and swallow. “Really.”
She bites her lip. “Even though it’s in London?”
There is uncertainty in her eyes. Does she want me to care? Does she want me to tell her to stay instead? Or is she simply worried about hurting me when she leaves again?
I...do not have the bandwidth to figure this out. My brain is too full of her, my body too charged from the kiss.
I turn from Kate and walk a few steps away, my hands resting on top of my head. I shouldn’t feel so stunned. Except, Kate leaving to settle down somewhere else feels different than Kate justleaving.If she’s willing to put down roots, why not put them down here? This doesn’t feel like incompatible lifestyles, this feels like rejection.
“I still don’t know if I’m going to take it,” she says from behind me. “I’m not sure about living in London, but I do love the idea of something more stable. I never even thought that was an option for me, so I feel like I have to at least consider it.”
I should turn around. Say something. Be the best friend she needs me to be. I would love for her to have something stable. To have the opportunity to truly settle down if that’s what she wants.
A sharp pain snakes across my chest. Even if it isn’t with me.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you, Brody. Not when I don’t know what I’m doing, when we don’t know—”
Her words crack and tremble.
I have to dig deep to find what little composure I have left, but I slip it into place and turn around, moving back to where she’s standing. I reach for her hand and pull her toward me, wrappingher into a hug that I hope feels brotherly. “You’re right,” I say into her hair. “It isn’t fair. But you have to live your life, Kate. If this is something you want, you have to go for it.”
She tilts her head up, her arms still wrapped around me. “But what if I don’t know what I want? What if all I feel is confusion?”
“You’ve always figured things out before, right?” I drop my arms and step away from her. I can’t keep touching her. Not if I’m going to get out of the gorge and back to the truck without completely losing it. I move toward the trail, and Kate follows. “Do you like London?”
She shrugs. “I guess so. I don’t love the cold. Or the rain. But I like the people. And I really like the editor who offered the position.”
I cock my head. “I’m not sure London is the place for you if you don’t like the cold. I was cold the last time I was there, and it was July.”
Her eyebrows jump. “You’ve been to London?”
“Twice. I did a semester abroad in school. England, France, and Italy.”
“Oh, that’s right. I’d forgotten about that.”
“Then I went back with Griffin and a couple other guys last summer to do some kayaking. We were mostly in Wales, but we flew into London.”
She studies me, her eyebrows knit together, her expression saying the idea of me traveling outside of Silver Creek is a foreign concept. “Have you traveled anywhere else?” she asks, confirming my suspicion.
