Page 409 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
Brody:I mean, your life is a lot. But it isn’t ALWAYS a lot. Things will probably calm down after the initial freak-out over you being in a relationship.
Flint:Have you guys ever resented my fame?
Flint:I realize there are a million ways you could make fun of me for asking that question, but this time I need a serious answer.
Perry:I was a little annoyed when I had to hire security because your fans wouldn’t stop sneaking onto the farm to take pictures with Mom’s goats. But I didn’t resent you.
Brody:You’re family, man. And we’re proud of you. If we have to deal with a little extra attention every once in a while, it just means we make fun of you harder that week.
Lennox: Blending two lives into one is never easy. You guys will figure it out.
Flint:If she loves me back.
Brody:Have you told her how you feel?
Flint:Not yet. She asked for a little bit of breathing room.
Lennox:Ohhh. That’s not good.
Brody:Don’t freak him out. It’s probably nothing.
Flint:Probably? What does probably mean?
Brody:Actually, I think we need to survey the wives here. Hang on.
Perry:Lila says wanting breathing room COULD mean she’s not interested, but it could also mean she’s VERY interested but also VERY overwhelmed. She says having met Audrey, her vote is for the second one.
Brody:Yep. Kate said the same thing. She says Audrey is probably gun-shy. She needs to know you see her for HER. And not just as a celebrity girlfriend.
Flint:I do not see her as a celebrity girlfriend.
Brody:Hi! This is Kate. I know that’s not how you see her, but so far, all your big gestures have been about what she’s doing for YOU. Attending your premiere, walking the red carpet, posing for your Instagram photos. What have you done for HER?
Brody:Okay. Giving the phone back now. I’m done.
Flint:Oh man. That’s…
Brody:THAT’S MY WIFE, Y’ALL. She’s smart.
Lennox:Tatum here. Typing one-handed because I’m breastfeeding. But YES. Listen to Kate. Do something for her that lets her know you care about her life, too. And your relationship will never be JUST about your status as a celebrity.
Perry:How’s the baby? Is she so big? I swear, they grow so fast at that age.
Flint:Lila, did you steal Perry’s phone? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THIS GROUP CHAT? No more breastfeeding and baby talk. Go find your own thread.
Flint:Actually, wait. Don’t leave. I think you guys might be able to help me more than my idiot brothers can.
Brody:YES!! I’m back in control. Let us help. We love you. We love Audrey. We want this to work.
Perry:Why don’t you start by telling us what you love about her? <3
Lennox:Ohhh yes! Good idea.
Flint:Okay. She’s brilliant. It’s killer sexy.
Perry:Excellent first answer!
Flint:I also love her authenticity. She is who she is, and she doesn’t equivocate about it.
