Page 407 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
When my phone rings an hour later, the screen lighting up with Flint’s face, I have no more clarity than I did before, but I can’t not answer—not when I know how worried he must be.
I grab my phone, pressing a pillow against my chest as I answer the call. “Hi, Flint.”
“Hey. How are you?” he asks, concern filling his voice. “How are you feeling?”
“Still a little shaken up, but I’ll be okay.”
“Audrey, listen,” he says. “I want you to move into my house for a few days. At least until they find Cooper and arrest him. Take your sisters with you. You’ll be closer to Nate, and you’ll have a security system to keep you safe when Nate can’t be close by.”
I close my eyes. I suspected this was what Flint would want. Logically, it makes sense. If I’m in danger, his house is a lot safer than mine. But my physical safety isn’t the only thing on the line here. Nate already assured me there would be eyes on my house around the clock. I’ll be safe here at home. And right now, Ineedto be.
A sense of calm settles into my heart. This is the right call. Even if it’s a painful one.
“I don’t want to move into your house, Flint.”
He’s quiet for a beat. “I don’t mean permanently. Just until we can make sure—”
“I know what you mean,” I say, cutting him off as gently as I can. “And I appreciate the offer. But Flint…” I hesitate, hating the tremble in my voice. “I just need to be in my own space for a while. I think I’m feeling…” I pause, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. “Swallowed, I guess? Like my life is somehow getting sucked up into yours. And that’s not your fault, and I’mnot saying I don’t want us to be together. I just need to breathe a minute, and that’s going to be a lot easier in my own house.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” he says.
“Flint, your house is a fairy tale. It’s magical and beautiful and full of white squirrels, and I love every single thing about it.All of itis a fairy tale. You. The private jet and the beautiful clothes and the people ready to wait on me hand and foot. It’s amazing.Of courseit’s amazing. But it also makes it easy to get swept up. I’m Cinderella at the ball, only, I was never the girl who sat around and dreamed about ball gowns. I would have totally ruined that story because I would have taken one look at the royal invitation and been like, ‘You know what? I’m good. Y’all have fun at the party. I’m gonna hang back and chill with the mice.’”
He chuckles. “That’s one of the things I love most about you. I don’t want you to change, Audrey. I just want you to be safe.”
“I know.I knowyou do, and I appreciate that. But this is about more than my safety. It’s the conversation wedidn’thave when we argued after the premiere. Every time I’m faced with a new reality ofyourworld, I have to stop and ask myself how it’s going to impactmine. How will being together influence my work? Will I travel with you whenever you’re filming? Will I stay in Silver Creek? Will I require a security detail even when we aren’t together? Every answer impacts the level of autonomy and control I have over my own life. I realize that’s the case with every relationship. But we can’t pretend like there aren’t special circumstances here.”
Flint is quiet for a long time.Too long.If not for the slight sound of his breathing, I might wonder if he was still on the call.
“So you’re saying you aren’t sure if you want us to be together,” he finally says.
“No,” I say, my voice breaking under the strain of my emotions. “I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying I’m scaredand uncertain, and I want to make sure I know my own mind. Your life is so big, Flint. And it’s amazing and glamorous and I love being a part of it. But my life is important, too. I just don’t want to get so swept up in your world that I lose my own.”
“Which is why you want to stay at your house.”
“I mean, yes. But it’s more than that too.”
He sighs. “I understand. I don’t like it. But Idounderstand it.” He sniffs and clears his throat. When he speaks again, he almost sounds like a different person. “Listen, I want you to take as much time as you need, all right? Stay at your place, for sure. Nate will still be keeping an eye on things, but I’ll tell him to keep his distance so your life will feel as normal as possible.”
“Flint, stop,” I say.
“Stop what?”
“I don’t know what just happened, but your voice changed.” I think back to the way he spoke to my sisters when he first met them. That’s exactly what he sounds like now. “You just turned into actor Flint—like you’re only saying what I want to hear. But I don’t want you to pretend with me.”
He’s quiet for a long moment. “You can’t have it both ways, Audrey,” he finally says. “You can’t ask me for space and also ask me to be real, because what I wantfor realis the opposite of giving you space.”
Pain slices into my heart. What am I doing? Am I really pushing him away?
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice soft. “You’re right. That wasn’t fair of me to say.”
He sighs. “Audrey, you told me from the beginning you weren’t interested in a life like mine.”
“But that was before I knew you, before I…”Before I fell in love with you.I don’t finish the sentence out loud, but the realization fills my heart with perfect clarity.
I love him.I love him.
If that’s true, everything else will have to work out, won’t it?
