Page 40 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
“No,” I say quickly.And I never will.“Some things aren’t meant to be, Mon.”
“Like you and me.”
At least she’s finally getting the picture. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugs. “Nah, don’t apologize. I meant what I said, Brody. Idoconsider you a good friend, which means I want you to be happy. I just saw what it looks like when you light up for another person. That makes it really easy to recognize you don’t light up for me.”
I want to laugh at the hopeless picture she’s painting. “I don’t know what this says about my future, but it can’t be good.”
“Why? If not her, then who?” It’s a surprisingly simple summary of my conflicted emotions.
“Exactly.”
“And you’re sure itisn’ther?”
“No. But I’m pretty sureshe’ssure it isn’t her.”
Monica looks at me, a frown creasing her brow. “Well, she’s an idiot then.”
She opens the door to her car and tosses her bag into the seat. “You know, you could just tell her now,” she says, like it’s the easiest suggestion in the world. “She can’t really make a choice if she doesn’t know all her options, right?”
We say goodbye, and I head up the hill toward the barn, thinking on Monica’s suggestion.
I could just tell Kate how I feel. How I felt? How I might feel again?
But Monica is proof enough that sometimes, the spark isn’t there. What if that’s the way Kate feels about me? I know she loves me. But if she doesn’t feel the same spark I do, I can’t make her feel it any more than Monica could make me feel it for her.
And honestly, after all these years, if shedidfeel a spark? Wouldn’t we have figured it out by now? I want to believe that seeing her this time has felt different, like there’s a new tension that’s never been there before. But I don’t trust myself not to be seeing it only because I’m hoping for it.
I find Kate and Olivia with Mom, all three of them leaning against the half-wall that separates the corridor from Penelope’s stall. Tyler is in the stall with Penelope who is still up and moving around, if a little awkwardly.
Mom pulls me into a hug, giving my shoulders an extra squeeze. “Welcome home. How was the trip? How was it spending all that time with Perry?”
I swallow the half-dozen sarcastic answers that push into my brain—Mom is not the right audience for those—and offer her a genuine smile. “It was great. I’m glad I went with him.”
“Oh, I’m so glad. Olivia told me about the school board meeting. Do you feel ready?”
I lift my shoulders in a shrug. “As ready as I can be, I think.”
She cups her hand around my cheek. “You just speak your truth, Brody. They’ll see it. They’ll recognize the good you’re doing.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I lean against the wall next to Kate and look in on Penelope. “How’s she doing?”
“So far so good,” Tyler says. “The vet was just here, and she said everything is progressing like it should.”
“You called the vet already?” I ask. Mom has helped countless goats with their first whelping. Normally she only calls the vet if she senses trouble.
Mom looks at me over Olivia’s head. “New parents,” she whispers.
“I heard that,” Tyler says, and Mom grins.
“I think he’s more worried about Penelope’s baby than he is our own,” Olivia says.
Tyler jumps up and moves over to Olivia, leaning forward and giving her a kiss that lasts long enough for me to feel like I ought to look away. “That isn’t even a little bit true,” he says.
Beside me, Kate breathes out a sigh.
“Hey, help me with something really quick?” Olivia asks.
