Page 337 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
“I was going to say old-fashioned, but that works too. I just don’t like it.”
“You’re right not to like it. But then, I don’t like anything Simon suggests, so I’m not sure my opinion is relevant here. Have you given any more thought to taking someone from Silver Creek?”
“Like who? The only women I know are related to me, and I’m not sure that would have quite the same impact, do you?”
She considers me for a long moment. “Flint, what about Audrey?”
My hand jumps and knocks over a cup of pens, and I scramble to pick it up. When everything is back where it belongs, I take a moment to neutralize my expression before looking up. Joni knows me well, almost as well as my family knows me. She’ll see right through me if I’m not careful. “WhataboutAudrey?” I finally ask.
“Invite her to the premiere.” Joni says this simply, but there is nothing simple about her suggestion.
“That’s…no. That’s not a good idea.”
“Why not? I think it’s a great idea. Audrey is exactly the right kind of woman. She’s poised. She’s confident. She’s well-spoken. She won’t get flustered when she meets other celebrities.”
“She won’t even know who the other celebrities are.”
“Exactly! Yet another reason why she’d be perfect.” Joni shifts on the couch, sitting a little taller, like she’s gearing up to really hit me with all her reasoning and logic. It’s a veryJonimove—one I know well. “Listen. I know she might not be the kind of woman you can actually see yourself with long-term, but for this, she doesn’t really need to be. You just need her to be your decoy. And I think there’s something you can offer her in exchange that she won’t be able to refuse.”
I let Joni’s words settle into my mind. I’m surprised by a couple of things.
One—as well as Joni knows me, I don’t know how she hasn’t noticed that I’ve got a thing for Audrey.
Two—I can’t think of any possible incentive that would motivate Audrey to say yes to whatever scheme Joni is hatching. Audrey doesn’t evenlikemovies. Why would she want to attend a premiere for one?
Especially when she has no interest in spending any time withme.
For the past three days, whenever Audrey has been on my property, I’ve been distracted, preoccupied with her presence.It’s ridiculous the number of reasons I’ve found to walk across my backyard.
Install a new garden hose? That definitely needs to happen today.
Cut the grass even though I already cut it four days ago? Absolutely.
Weed the vegetable garden? No time like the present!
Unfortunately, all that effort has resulted in exactly zero progress. Despite all my efforts to capture her attention, Audrey has been so focused on her work, she’s barely taken notice.
If I speak to her, she always responds with kindness, but I am always the one who speaks first.
“Okay. I’ll bite,” I finally say. “What could I offer Audrey that she couldn’t refuse?”
Joni smiles. “Access to your land.”
I lift my eyebrows. “She already has access to my land.”
“For one more week. Tell her she can come back for the rest of the summer. Whenever she wants.”
“In exchange for her coming to LA with me and pretending to be my girlfriend on the red carpet? That’s a big ask, Joni.”
She shrugs. “Yeah, but Audrey really likes those squirrels. She might say yes.”
I stand up and move to the window, my stomach grumbling as I go. It’s already past seven, and I still have no idea what I’m doing for dinner. “You’ve clearly given this some thought.”
“It’s better than Simon’s plan,” Joni says. “I know it still requires some faking, but if we’re honest with Audrey, explain the situation, I think she’ll say yes. I mean, you could at least ask, right? What’s truly the worst thing that could happen?”
“She could come with me to California, realize my life is an absolute circus, and run the other direction as fast as she can.”
Joni’s quiet for a long moment. “Oh,” she finally says.“Oh. You like her.”
