Page 270 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
I definitelydon’tlove what I do. Not like this.
When I ran away from California, I was mostly running away from Dad. But I’m starting to wonder—maybe I was running away from Le Vin, too. From being a chef.
The catering kitchen has been exciting because it’s been new, a challenge for me to figure out and problem solve. But now that it’s starting to feel easy, or at leasteasier, I’m already feeling . . . I don’t know. Itchy, maybe?
I don’t know what that means, but I do know I need to figure it out.
I scroll through a few more pictures of Lennox. The man is stupidly photogenic. I’m pretty sure I dreamed about him last night. Which honestly, how could I not? The heat of him next to me on the couch. The press of his thumbs on the sorest parts of my feet, the whisper of his touch across the skin on my ankle.
Every new brush of contact felt like a question.Do you feel this? Do you want this?
Yes, yes, and extra yes.
A memory pushes to the surface. Oh.Oh,I think I dreamed aboutkissingLennox last night. I can conjure up exactly what it’s like to feel his mouth pressed against mine.
I lift a hand to my lips and close my eyes.
Good job, brain. Excellent, excellent work.
I scroll Instagram for a few more minutes until I can no longer ignore my need to pee. Which is a shame because I am warm and comfortable, and even though the power is back on, the air still feels cool outside the enormous comforter I’m covered up with. I need to get myself one of these. If I’m going to live in the mountains, clearly, I need blankets that provide mountain-level warmth.
The wood floors creak beneath my feet as I make my way down the hallway to the tiny bathroom next to the kitchen. After I finish, I stare at my reflection, wishing I’d grabbed my bag on my way in. I haven’t had makeup on since arriving; it was basically the middle of the night when Kate texted and insisted I come back with Brody, so I didn’t think to put any on then. And we were all just sitting around in our sweats all day, huddled by the fire.
But now? After how things went with Lennox last night—the camaraderie during the game, the secret, small touches—I feel a sudden need to try a little. To make sure I look my best. I sneakout to the hall and grab my bag, tiptoeing back to the bathroom. So far, it doesn’t sound like anyone else is awake.
First priority? The riot of curls on my head. I use a little water and finger comb them as best I can, then tame them into a messy bun. There are still wispy ringlets sticking out around my face, but I need product to control those, and I didn’t bring any with me, so this will have to do. I brush my teeth and put on a little bit of tinted lip balm and a light coat of mascara. It isn’t much, but it’s enough to make me feel slightly better about facing Lennox.
I take a deep breath and press a hand to my stomach. I’m nervous, but it’s a good kind of nervous.
When I make it back to the living room, Lennox is nowhere to be found. Someone’s making noise in the kitchen though, so I follow the sound, finding Lennox standing at the back door, holding it open for Charlie and Toby.
“You’re awake,” I say.
He turns. He’s wearing the same joggers he had on yesterday and a navy-blue hoodie that looks warm and soft and comfortable. “Your dog woke me up.” He lifts his hand and rubs it across his beard. “A tongue bath is a very effective alarm clock.”
I wince. “Oh man. Sorry about that.”
“He’s a dog who knows how to get what he wants. He led me right to the door as soon as I was on my feet. You want some coffee?”
“I’d love some.”
He moves to the coffeemaker sitting on the counter. “How did you sleep?”
I lean against the island across from him. “Good, I guess. I was warm, so there’s that. How about you? Sorry you had to sleep on the floor.”
“Being close to the fire was worth it,” he says. “And Toby seemed like he needed the company.”
Or maybeIseemed like I needed the company? It’s probably too much to hope that he stayed downstairs to be close to me, but a girl can dream.
“I saw you snuggled up together when I woke up.”And it made my heart climb out of my chest to fall on the floor at your feet.
He turns and folds his arms across his chest, studying me closely. He clears his throat. “So, do you remember anything weird happening last night? Anything . . . different?”
I narrow my eyes. “Should I? Why? What happened?”
He grins. “How about we start with what youdoremember?”
“Oh no.” A beat of panic flits through me. “Lennox, did I talk in my sleep? Please tell me I didn’t say anything stupid.” I press my hands to my cheeks, feeling them warm against my cool palms. “I used to do it all the time. My college roommates had way too much fun with some of the things I said.”
