Page 267 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
She scrunches her face like she’s considering. “Yes and no. Dad likes to be Christopher Elliott—more than he likes beingDad.In retrospect, I think I tolerated a lot because his life was so glamorous. There were a lot of perks, though it makes me feel shallow to admit it now.” She scoops her hair up and lifts it awayfrom her neck for a moment, shaking it out before it falls back into place. “I’m starting to wonder if that actually had something to do with why Mom left. Pretty sure if Dad had to pick between fame and family, he’d pick fame.”
“You’re making me think working with him wasn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.”
She shrugs. “I mean, I’m living in North Carolina, running a catering kitchen instead of doing what he wants me to do, so take your best guess.”
I’m suddenly struck by how different this version of Tatum’s life is from the one she projected while we were in culinary school. Back then, she was always talking about the trips she’d taken with her dad, constantly bringing stuff to school—stuff her dad sent—and giving it out to people. New knives, hand mixers, pots and pans. Whatever was the latest and greatest in the Christopher Elliott exclusive line of kitchen tools and cookware.
I never took anything from her because it seemed like she was trying to buy friends. But hearing about her mom, how alone she probably felt, maybe she was just trying tomakefriends.
Our conversation abruptly ends when Brody and Kate come bustling back through the front door, bringing a blast of cold air with them. “We ran into the power company guys down the road,” Brody says. “They’re saying they’re hoping to have everyone on this side of the valley up and running by tomorrow morning.”
“Which means you both have to stay here,” Kate says as she unwraps her scarf. “It’s still frigid out there. You’ll be miserable if you try to go home.”
“If you’ll have me, I’d love to stay,” Tatum says. “Toby is a big wimp when it comes to the cold.”
“But you aren’t a wimp, Miss I-don’t-have-a-coat?” I tease.
She smirks. “Now that I’ve got yours, I’ll never get my own.”
“What about you, Lennox?” Kate asks, her eyes darting between Tatum and me like she’sveryhappy to see us looking so cozy on the couch.
I look at Tatum. Her expression is open and easy. She isn’t communicating with words, but her eyes are telling me she wants me to stay.
“Yeah, I’ll stay too,” I say, swallowing against the dryness in my throat. “That would be great.”
We lounge around for a couple more hours until it starts to get dark, then we eat a cold dinner—crackers, cheese, and whatever snacks we can find in Brody and Kate’s pantry. It isn’t much, but it feels like plenty after the heavy lunch we had earlier.
After we eat, Brody and Kate bring every pillow and blanket in the house into the living room and pile them up on the floor in front of the fireplace. We all settle in, Brody and Kate in a giant, overstuffed chair that was clearly made for two people while Tatum and I sit on the couch, Toby stretched out on the floor below us. In addition to the fire, Brody sets up a lantern on the coffee table and a couple of lit candles on either end of the mantel.
The room is cozy and comfortable, but I’m still having a hard time relaxing if only for my body’s hyperawareness of Tatum’s proximity. We’re both sitting sideways, our backs against the armrests and our feet extended outward, which means her feet are snuggled up against my thigh, and my feet are snuggled up against hers. It’s not particularly sexy, feet touching thighs, but it’s stilltouch.It’s still her body heat next to mine.
She looks beautiful in the firelight, her face framed by the wild curls that are loose around her shoulders. When she throws her head back and laughs over a story Brody is telling about one of his students, something tightens in my chest, like my heart just grew the tiniest bit and now everything has to shift around to make room.
But just watching her like this—it isn’t enough.
I reach my hand under the blanket that’s covering us both and wrap it around Tatum’s socked foot. Her eyes lift to mine, but she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she stretches the tiniest bit, pressing her foot into my hand like she wants the contact as much as I do. I trace my fingers up the bridge of her foot, and she smiles, biting her lip like it tickles, but she doesn’t flinch away. I keep moving until my fingers hit the top of her sock. I trace a slow circle on her ankle, and her eyes flutter closed.
“Okay, I’m beat,” Brody says, stretching his arms over his head. “What do you think, Kate? Want to sleep upstairs?”
Kate yawns. “I was up there before we ate, and it wasn’t that bad. I think a lot of the heat from down here has risen. If we use the down comforter, we should be fine.”
I shouldn’t be so excited that Brody and Kate won’t be crashing on the floor like this is some sort of co-ed slumber party, but I am absolutely excited.
“So, there’s an extra bedroom upstairs,” Kate says as she lets Brody help her to her feet. “It’s in the back of the house though, farther away than our bedroom, so I’m worried it’ll be too cold to be comfortable.”
“If it’s all the same to you, I’m happy to stay down here close to the fire,” Tatum says. “Your couch is really comfortable.”
“Absolutely,” Kate says. “Wherever you want to sleep is totally great. And you know where the bedroom is if you decide you want it, Len.”
Brody drops a hand onto my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “You’ll keep the fire going a while longer?” Even though his words ask a very simple question, I feel him saying so much more in the gesture.Are you okay? Do you need me? I’m here if you do.
It’s funny. I’m the older brother here, but Brody has grown up so much in the last year. It’s as though the certainty of his futurehas grounded him in a way I can’t fully understand. It’s not that I don’t have anything to live for. I have my restaurant. My family. But I don’t havethis.A true home. A relationship.
My eyes flick to Tatum.
“I’ll take care of the fire,” I say.
Brody nods. “You know where to find me if you need me.”
