Page 185 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
“Of course. No, that makes sense.” I sniff and wipe my eyes, turning away from Perry.
Which is stupid. There’s no way he didn’t notice my tears.
He steps closer and reaches for me. “Hey. Come here.”
I shake my head as I fall into his arms. “I’m being ridiculous.”
“I don’t think you are.”
“Sometimes I don’t realize how hard it is to do everything by myself until I’m not anymore.” I pat his chest. “I’m glad you’re here,” I say simply. “Thank you for being here.”
Something like fear flashes behind Perry’s eyes, but then he’s tucking me into his chest, his hands sliding up and down my back.
Myexposedback. Because I’m still only wearing a sports bra.
“Oh no,” I say, stepping away and spinning around. I grab a folder off my desk and hold it in front of my stomach.
Perry narrows his eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” I say a little too quickly.
He lifts an eyebrow, his expression saying just how much he doesn’t believe me.
I look down at the folder, then back to him, and bite my lip. “Hiding,” I finally say.
“Your stomach? Why?”
Jack barrels into the room, his backpack on. “Mommy’s stomach looks like a road map,” he says matter-of-factly. “Cause when I was in her tummy, I stretched her skin big,big, big.” He stretches his arms out in front of him and starts walking around the room like a marshmallow man.
Or maybe that’s just what he thinks women look like when they’re pregnant?
Perry turns, his back to Jack so his broad body is shielding me from my son’s view. He grabs the folder and tugs it from my hands. “Don’t hide from me,” he says in the same bossy, commanding voice I hear him use at work.
I close my eyes, but I don’t resist.
I love my body. I do.
It is strong and capable and beautiful in its own way. I do not spend a lot of time looking at it and hating it. I don’t have time for that kind of self-loathing. But I know what the world’s beauty standards are. And they are a lot closer to the woman Perryusedto be married to than they are to me. She probably doesn’t have a single stretch mark on her.
Perry presses his palm flat against my stomach. “Lila, open your eyes.”
I shake my head no.
“Lila,” he says again. It is NOT fair when he pulls out bossy Perry.
I huff out a breath, then finally comply.
His gaze is soft. Warm. “At some point,” he says so quietly, there is no way Jack can hear, “I am going to kiss every single one of these stretch marks.”
Oh.Oh.I take a stuttering breath.
“They’re a part of you. They make you real.Human.” He smiles. “I tend to like humans.”
Real? We’re talking about being real? Because this man feels anything but real. Like a dream come impossibly true. How did I ever think he was just my grumpy boss?
“Perry, come on,” Jack says from the doorway. “The clock says we’re going to be late if we don’t leave right now.”
“Hey, that’s my line,” I say to Jack. Literally word for word. Jack has probably heard me say that exact thing a hundred different times.
