Page 177 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
“You get used to that part eventually, too,” Kate says knowingly from the other side of me. “I was an only child growing up, so all this—” She motions to the table at large. “I’ve had a lot of moments just like the one you’re having now.”
I press my hands to my cheeks. “I feel ridiculous,” I say, followed by a tiny sniff. Perry’s hand rests calmly on my back, but he seems content to let Kate talk me down this time. “I’m an only child, too. It’s pretty overwhelming to think of having all these people to love you.”
“Overwhelming is a good word. But youdoget used to it.” She shifts her lips to the side and leans closer, her voice dropping in volume. “You might even get bothered by it every once in a while. But I’ll give you the same advice Olivia gave me right before I married Brody.”
Something stretches in my heart at the mention of marriage. It might be a little premature to give methiskind of advice, no matter how much I’ve decided that’s precisely what I want, but I have no desire to discuss the specifics of those emotions at the dinner table with Perry’s entire family, so I just smile and nod. “Okay.”
“There are going to be moments when you wish everyone would leave you alone.”
Brody leans forward. “Just hang those hopes up now. It’s never going to happen.”
Kate rolls her eyes. “It truly isn’t that bad. Well, okay, it can be that bad. Either way, when it does happen, and you need to go dark for a little while, your best bet is to let someone else in the family know so they can cover for you. Because if you just turn off your notifications? Or worse, turn off your phone? You have about two hours before someone will show up at your doorstep to make sure you’re okay.”
I laugh. “I don’t know. That sounds kind of nice.”
“Nice like a really heavy blanket,” Olivia says from across the table. “It keeps you warm. And it might even be really soft. But if you’re in the wrong position . . .” Her voice drops into an exaggerated whisper. “It will absolutely make you feel like you’re suffocating.”
“I heard that, Olivia,” Hannah says, her tone light and lilting.
“How come no one ever comes to make sure I’m okay if I don’t respond to text messages?” Flint says.
Hannah puts a hand on Flint’s cheek. “Sweetheart, I’d fly to Malibu in a skinny minute if I thought you needed me. And I text your assistant to check on you all the time.”
“You do? Really?” Flint asks.
“What do you take me for?” Hannah says, smiling sweetly.
“She’s playing it up now,” Perry says, “but Mom is actually pretty chill. Dad, too. They’re very good at letting their adult childrenadult.”
I lean into him, suddenly curious about something. I drop my voice, hoping I’m speaking quietly enough for only him to hear. “Hey, what was that look about with your dad earlier?” I ask. “That seemed like it meant something.”
Perry’s expression softens. “Just a conversation we had a while back. Right after I graduated from high school. Ask me later, and I’ll tell you what he told me.”
“Or you could tell us all now,” Olivia says. “I want to know what Dad said to you in yourtime to be an adulttalk.”
Perry shoots his sister a glare. “Seriously? Do you have supersonic hearing over there?”
“I’m guessing this is one of those timesPerrywishes he was alone,” Brody says evenly, and Kate and Olivia both start to laugh.
I press my lips together, trying to hold in my own laughter. I’m very interested in what Perry was saying, but I also really love the banter between his siblings. “We can talk later,” I say to Perry.
“Can I come?” Flint says from down the table. “I want to know what Dad said. I never got a special talk after I graduated. What’s up with that, Dad?”
“Seriously? Iseveryonelistening to our private conversation?”
“You did get a talk,” Mr. Hawthorne says to Flint, holding up one slightly wobbly finger. I don’t often see signs of the stroke Mr. Hawthorne suffered, but I’ll occasionally hear a word slur or see a slight tremble in his movements. “Yours was about different things,” he goes on to say. “Yours was for you. Perry’s was for Perry.”
“What was mine about?” Flint asks.
Mr. Hawthorne looks like he’s trying not to roll his eyes. “Integrity. Restraint. Humility.”
“Ohhh,” Flint says, tapping the side of his forehead. “The don’t-let-Hollywood-turn-me-into-a-garbage-human talk. I do remember that.”
The banter continues around the table, all good-natured jokes and ribbing. As the night progresses, I make a catalog of all the things I love. The things I want for Jack.
Siblings who know him well enough to joke and tease, but only in ways that aren’t hurtful.
Meaningful talks teaching him how to navigate the world without being a jerk or missing the moments in life that matter the most. Cousins who can be his friends.
