Page 175 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
Lila smirks. “I genuinely have no idea.”
I follow her to my desk and try to focus on the multiple decisions that need to be made. But in the back of my mind, one thought pulses steadily, like a giant yellow caution sign.
Iwantto be enough for Lila and Jack.
But wanting andbeingaren’t exactly the same thing.
You don’t win a race bywantingto be the fastest person on the track. You have to do the work. Earn the prize.
And what if I just . . .can’t?
Chapter Twenty-One
Lila
I stand in therestaurant’s newly paved parking lot and stare up at the shiny new building, all lit up from within, the sign that readsHawthornesparkling above the wide double doors. I’ve been inside before. But this is different. Now, the restaurant is full of people.
And Perry’s family.
I take a few purposeful breaths and smooth down the front of my dress. I really did buy something new this time. An indulgence Grandma June convinced me was completely justified. It’s red, off the shoulder, and fitted through the bodice in a way that makes my boobs look amazing without overdoing the cleavage. The A-line skirt hits just above my knee and would flare out a little if I happened to twirl—something I know from firsthand experience because I twirled a dozen times in my kitchen while Jack watched and laughed until he almost fell out of his chair. I might have kept going had the babysitter not shown up.
Rebecca, a high school sophomore and the highly recommended granddaughter of Grandma June’s neighbor,immediately put me at ease with the natural way she engaged with Jack. When she had to cancel on me the first time I asked her to babysit, I wondered. But she apologized for that, and since Jack took to her right away, it suddenly feels easier to try and sneak away a little more frequently.
I’m desperate for a real, bonafide date with Perry. Though this possibly counts as a real date. You know. One with Perry’s entire family including his very famous younger brother in attendance. NO BIG DEAL.
I give myself one more once-over in the glow of the streetlights and head to the front door.
It took a lot of effort to convince Perry he didn’t need to drive up to Hendersonville to pick me up for tonight. The man had enough going on, and I didn’t want him to worry about me, but more than that, I just didn’t want Jack to see him. While I was getting ready to leave, it quickly became obvious I made the right call.
I was honest with Jack about where I needed to go without him—to a restaurant opening for work—but of course, he wouldn’t leave it at that. He asked a million questions. Would Mr. Hawthorne be there? Was there a bar? Would there be other men looking for wives and stepsons?
Poor kid. His pancake breakfast is only ten days away, but in his five-year-old brain, that’s still plenty of time to find himself a new stairdad.Stepdad.He’s said it wrong so many times now, he even has me saying it.
Jack has at least resigned himself to going with his grandfather if a more favorable option doesn’t present itself in time. But I can tell he’s still hoping.
And maybe I should start hoping too. Trevor’s dad still hasn’t confirmed he can even make it. The man is about as married to his work as Trevor was. Leaving his law practice on a regularThursday is a big ask, even if it is to spend the morning with his grandson.
Worst case scenario, I’ll take Jack to the breakfast. He would hate it, but it would be better than going alone.
It has occurred to me, once or twice or five hundred times, that I could just ask Perry to take Jack to his breakfast, but I’m still scared to make that leap.
Inside, every table in the restaurant is filled. Servers are moving around the room with an ease and efficiency that does not scream opening night. In fact, it seems like a well-oiled machine. Though, Lennox started hiring waitstaff weeks ago. Everyone working tonight has been through dozens and dozens of practice runs. As my eyes dart around the room, I half wonder if everything is running so smoothly in the kitchen, but then I see Perry standing across the room, and all other thoughts float away.
He looks up and catches my gaze, his smile stretching wide as he begins to walk toward me.
I think I’m in love with him.
The thought catches me by surprise, but it shouldn’t.
I’ve been falling in love with Perry since that first day all those weeks ago when Jack “helped” Perry change his tire and talked the poor man’s ear off. So many tiny moments have led me here. Now, I just need the courage to accept them. Totrust him.
“Hi,” Perry says when he finally reaches me. He’s rocking a look similar to the one he wore to the reunion—dark gray dress pants and a white button-down, sleeves rolled up, collar open—except his beard looks like it’s been recently trimmed, and he might have even gotten a haircut.
Since this afternoonwhen I left work to go meet Jack at the bus stop.
Perry had a busy afternoon.
“You’re looking particularly dapper this evening,” I say.
