Page 170 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
She takes it, allowing me to tug her to her feet. I slip my arms around her, pulling her into a hug, and am immediately blown away by how right this feels. It’s such a contrast to the interaction I just had, I suddenly feel desperate to hold on—to do whatever it takes not to lose this.
Lila leans in. “Ready when you are.”
I say goodbye to a few friends, then we make our way outside, waiting in the chilly October air as the valet brings my truck around. We drive in comfortable silence until we’re out of the city and on the interstate heading to Hendersonville.
“Thank you for asking Jocelyn to apologize,” Lila says. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I did. She was rude. Apologizing was the right thing to do.” Admittedly, it would have been better had Jocelyn feltmotivated to apologize on her own, but something is better than nothing. “You deserve respect, Lila. Just because you’re good atletting things roll off your back doesn’t mean you should have to.” I think of her late-night confession about her husband and the way he treated her. “I need you to know that I would never stand by and let anyone speak to you that way. Let alone speak to you that way myself.”
She’s quiet for a long moment. “That means a lot,” she finally says.
After a few more minutes of silence, she asks, “Is it too soon to ask where we go from here?”
My eyes jump to hers. “What, like,us? Relationship-wise?”
She nods.
“I mean, I’d like to see you again, if that’s what you’re asking. And not just at work.” A sudden fear pulses through me. Does she think I might not? That this was just some sort of weekend thing? “Lila, I wasn’t messing around last night. I’m serious about whatever this is. I’d like to date you. I’d like to see if this can go somewhere.”
“No, I know,” she says quickly. “I didn’t think you were messing around. And I’d like that too. For us to date. It’s just . . . dating is a little more complicated for me.”
“Okay,” I say slowly.
“Because of Jack.”
Buttercupping Buttercup.
Jack. Of course Jack complicates things. I’ve been so focused on Lila, I haven’t even thought to factor him into this new dynamic between us. Which can’t be a good sign.
“Right. Of course. We have to think about Jack. But I’m sure we can figure it out,” I say to convince myself as much as her.
“Perry, I don’t want to tell him yet.”
The hope that’s been filling my chest since last night deflates the tiniest bit.
“Not because you wouldn’t be great with him. You would be. Youwillbe,” she says. “But you saw yourself how fixated he’s been on finding himself a stepdad. If he starts spending time with you, it’ll only get his hopes up. I can take risks when it comes to my own heart. It’s not as easy to risk his.”
Everything she’s saying makes total sense. And it’s better this way. We can find our footing first,thenI can work on developing a relationship with Jack.
But that thought brings its own wave of mixed emotions.
On the one hand, a part of me is relieved that I won’t be expected to immediately jump right into figuring out dad mode. For all I know, I don’t evenhavea dad mode.
On the other hand, I don’t love that this feels like a wall between Lila and me. She won’t really let me in—not completely—until she’s ready to let me into Jack’s life as well.
“So we take things slow,” I say. “Spend time together at work.”
She nods. “And I can get a babysitter every once in a while, too. You just won’t be able to come over to the house.”
I run a hand across my face. “Sure. No, that makes sense.”
“You sound disappointed.”
I reach over and wrap my hand around hers. “Not at all. Jack is your first priority. Of course you have to do what’s best for him.” I give her fingers a quick squeeze. “But just so we’re clear, between nine a.m. and two p.m., you’reall mine.”
She smirks. “Whatever you say, boss.”
I pull into her driveway and park the truck, mostly happy with where we’ve landed. I’m not disappointed. And I do understand why she wants to take things slow.
