Page 136 of How to Kiss a Hawthorne Brother
Lila:Of course. They’re magically delicious.
Lila:They’re also Jack’s favorite. Sometimes I forget everyone doesn’t have a pantry full of kid food.
Seized by an idea that could be brilliant but could just as easily be stupid, I type out my next message and send it before I can talk myself out of it.
Perry:I definitely prefer my cereal a little morehardcore.
Lila:Hardcore?
Perry:Apple Jacks, Lila. You of all people should apple-solutely understand.
Lila:WAIT. HardCORE cereal? I don’t know if I can laugh at that one, Perry.
Perry:Come on. That was a very a-peeling pun.
Lila:STOP. Is this what it feels like when I send you apple puns? I TAKE THEM ALL BACK.
Perry:Nah. They’re starting to GROW on me. They always PRODUCE a laugh.
Lila:I’ve created a monster.
Lila:I’ve got to go put Jack to bed. Thanks again for reaching out. See you tomorrow?
Perry:I’m looking forward to it.
I send my last message and drop my phone onto the kitchen table before throwing my arms overhead in victory. I could be wrong, but that felt like a very good text exchange. Not flirty, exactly, but almost? And now I’m going to see her tomorrow, and I have no idea how to act.
All of my doubts come roaring back. Her military hero husband. My trash heap marriage. My complete inability to be charming, though I did just incorporate apple puns into a text conversation. Not exactly my MO, so maybe there’s hope for me after all?
There are so many reasons why this could go badly, but this is the first time since my divorce that I’ve felt any real hope when it comes to the idea of a relationship.
Maybe I’ll screw everything up.
Maybe she won’t reciprocate.
Maybe we’ll never date,andI’ll lose her as an assistant.
But I think I have totry. Shelve my doubts and see what happens.
A new excitement pulses in my chest. I’m going to do this. Actuallypursuea woman.
I put my phone down and rest my hands on my knees. The thought buzzing around in my brain annoys me. I don’t want it to be true, even though I know it is.
If I want to stand a chance, I need help.
I reach for my phone again, swallow every ounce of my pride, and pull up the running text thread I share with my brothers.
“Here goes nothing,” I say out loud before sending the first text.
Perry:Brothers. I need help. I met a woman, and I don’t know what I’m doing.
Lennox:I KNEW IT. YOU LIKE HER.
Brody:Wait. Hold up. Why does Lennox know something the rest of us don’t?
Lennox:It’s his virtual assistant. He met her in person when he was stranded with a flat tire and no jack.
Perry:Huh. Stranded without a jack. I wonder how that happened? I feel like someone took it and forgot to put it back. I just can’t remember who.
