Page 20 of The Christmas Letters
“It’s the scarves. They all wear them when they volunteer. My mom used to have one.”
I ignore the hollow feeling that fills my chest whenever I think of my parents. Mom didn’t volunteer long with the Southern Society, but I have distinct memories of that scarf—of how proud she was to own one.
I backtrack up the side of the rig and shimmy around to the front, crouching in front of the grill as the women pass by not twenty feet behind us.
Ben rolls his eyes and stands up, moving toward the driver’s side of the rig.
“Can you maybe be a little less obvious?” I whisper yell.
“Right. Because two grown men hiding behind an ambulance doesn’t make us conspicuous at all.”
Once the women are all inside, I finally stand up and climb into the rig.
“I still don’t understand,” Ben says as he cranks the engine. “Did something happen between the two of you?”
More like whatdidn’thappen. “Nah. That’s the problem. I never called her.”
Ben shoots me a disbelieving look. “Why not?” He eases the rig onto Ashley Avenue. “You didseeher, right?”
I did see her. That first day I met her and ever since, every stupid time I close my eyes. But a Southern Society scarf is just more proof. If Tess and Daisy are running in the same elite circles, then Tess is not the woman for me. Just like Daisy wasn’t.
You should call me.
Tess’s words come back to me, itching at my conscience. Would she have said them if she didn’t mean them?
But the wounds from Daisy’s rejection are still fresh enough to keep me thinking logically. I learned the hard way that sparks and attraction are not enough to overcome a whole world of differences between Tess’s life and mine.
“You just have to trust me,” I say to Ben. “She’s not the woman for me.”
“A beautiful woman who volunteers at hospitals and willingly tosses her number at you is not the woman for you,” Ben says dryly.
“It’s more complicated than that.”
Ben raises his eyebrows. “Explain complicated. It’s been six months since Daisy, man. You’ve got to start dating again at some point.”
I sigh and give him a sideways glance. I don’t really want to have this conversation, but Ben won’t ease up if I don’t give him some sort of explanation. “Dating, yes. But not someone so much like Daisy.”
Ben scoffs. “She’s nothing like Daisy.”
“You saw the car she was driving when she pulled away from Vera’s. And now she’s here, volunteering with the Southern Society. That’s Daisy’s world. Cotillion. Debutante balls. High society. All of it.”
“Not all of it. Tess knows you’re a paramedic, Drew. And she still gave you her number.”
“But it wouldn’t work out. Not long term. I’m just trying to spare us the ordeal of trying to force it when I can already read the writing on the wall.”
“Huh,” Ben says. “And you know all of this because youdidn’tcall her. You already know what she’s looking for? What kind of man she’s interested in?”
I stop myself from rolling my eyes because technically, Ben is right. “I can guess,” I finally say.
“A guess? You’re rejecting a woman who looks likethat…based on a guess?” He shakes his head. “Daisy ruined you, man.”
I press my lips together. I hear Ben’s words, but he doesn’t have the same perspective I do. I endured too many dinners with Daisy’s family, too many conversations where I was slighted, dismissed, or made to feel small because of my career choices. Because I didn’t brag about the size of my investment portfolio or have a membership at the yacht club.
I hung on because I thought Daisy saw me for who I am.
But she’d never seen me as more than a temporary distraction.A toy.She didn’t care what her family said about me because she already knew we had an expiration date. I was a placeholder. A temporary distraction until a more serious prospect came along.
When he did, Daisy didn’t waste a second before ending things with me.
