Page 71 of Absolutely Not in Love
Well, what’s left of it. I’m on my way home from symphony rehearsal and it’s already after nine. The plan is to see a late movie, but I’m not sure I have enough steam left. Rehearsal took it out of me tonight. I’d just as soon stay in, lounge around the apartment, and read or watch something at home.
Especially since tonight is my last night in Felix’s guestroom. The repairs in my place are officially finished, which means there’s no reason for me to keep living with him, no matter how much I’m enjoying myself.
And I reallydoneed to move out. While it has been incredibly sexy making out in every square inch of Felix’s apartment, our relationship is only a couple of weeks old. But sharing the same space—it’s making me feel like it’s been much longer. It’s making me forget I’m the kind of woman who likes to take things slow.
Especially when it comes to sex.
Summer would argue my pace isn’t just slow, it’s ancient-sloth-with-a-bad-hip slow. But I’d say I’m more like a very healthy turtle, one with enough self-awareness to recognize that physical commitment only magnifies my level of emotional commitment. I’ve been burned before—when Ididn’tmove slow and my heart got too invested, too fast—and I’ve learned to better protect myself. Idotake things slow. But the right man isn’t going to have a problem with that.
Besides, we’re only just getting to know each other. Just because I can imagine what it might feel like to fall asleep with my head pressed against Felix’s chest, my leg hooked over his, his fingers trailing up and down my back, doesn’t mean I’m ready to actually experience it.
But one more night trying to sleep, knowing he’s just on the other side of the apartment with his soft lips and his strong hands and his very warm body…it might break me.
Moving out is my only remaining defense.
I finally pull my car into my parking space at the apartment and gather up my things. When I grab my phone, I notice a text message from Summer, so I pause long enough to read it and respond.
Summer:How are things? Are you madly in love yet? Please tell me you’re madly in love.
Gracie:I’m madly in like? But I can definitely see love as a possibility in our future.
Summer:OH MY GOSH. THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.
Summer:Have you gone to see him play yet?
Gracie:Not yet, but only because he hasn’t had any home games, and I’m not sure we’ve reached “fly across the country to watch his games” status just yet.
Summer:But you’re willing to go? To watch him play?
Gracie:Summer. If we’re together, I’m watching him play. No childish hangup is going to keep me from supporting him.
Summer:It makes me really happy to hear you say so. I think he’s good for you, Gracie.
Gracie:Me too. But cross your fingers for me anyway because I think I’m going to take him to Maddox’s birthday party next week. As long as he wants to go.
Summer:Meeting the family feels big.
Gracie:Especially meeting my family. They’re going to worship-level love him. But Maddox will lose his mind, and that feels worth any awkwardness with my parents.
Summer:It will be! It totally will be. How’s your dad?
Gracie:He seems okay. Mom’s still worried about him. But I also feel like this whole thing has mellowed him somehow. We’re all getting along a little better now.
Summer:I’m glad! I’m sitting down to watch a movie with Lucy, but tell Felix I said hi! And keep me posted on all the things!
Summer:Oh! I meant to ask—how’s your old lady sloth? Has she gotten her hip replaced yet? ??
Gracie:SUMMER.
Summer:It’s a valid question! Just making sure she isn’t dead.
Gracie:I’m a turtle, not a sloth. Nothing is dead, and we are not having this conversation.
Summer sends back a series of emojis that have me rolling my eyes and laughing as I haul my cello up the stairs. She’s completely ridiculous, but I’m grateful for her anyway. Everyone deserves a friend like Summer in their lives.
Felix meets me at the door, taking my cello from me and carrying it into the living room.
I drop my purse to the floor and shrug out of my coat, then he’s back in front of me, pulling me into an embrace.
