Page 78 of Absolutely Not in Love
I’ve never seen Dad so animated.
When Felix excuses himself and heads to the bathroom, Dad looks over at me and smiles wide, warm affection radiating from his gaze.
It should make me happy. Itdoesmake me happy.
But it makes a part of me sad, too. Because I’ve never made my parents this happy on my own. I don’t want to dwell on that sadness though. It’s been good today, being together like this. It feels like it’s time to move on, and maybe, for the first time, I realize how much I want to.
Soon, it’s time for the kids to all go home, a process I quickly realize is going to take much longer since Felix is here. I doubt Felix isalwaysrecognized whenever he goes out. When we’ve gone out over the past couple of weeks, no one has really stopped us or acted like they knew who he was. But the majority of the kids Maddox invited to his party are friends from his youth hockey league. It stands to reason that parents with kids who play hockey know a little more than average about Harvest Hollow’s hockey team.
Felix must stand in the front yard talking and taking selfies for close to an hour. At first, it’s fun to see so many people excited to meet him and take a picture. But the longer it goes on, the more uncomfortable I feel.
Felix doesn’t have to be doing this. He could go hide in the backyard and say goodbye to exactly zero guests, and no one would fault him for it. But he just keeps standing there. Shaking hands. Talking to everyone like they deserve his undivided attention. He doesn’t even waver when several dads want autographs and come into the house looking for something they can have Felix sign. Or when one single mom gets handsy enough that I contemplate heading out into the yard so I can punch her right in her pert little nose. Eventually, Felix manages to untangle himself, but one more second, and I definitely would have been running to his rescue.
“It’s awfully nice of him to talk to everyone like that,” Mom says from her rocking chair beside me. “And in this weather, too.”
It’s almost too chilly to be sitting outside, but I love the crispness in the air. Plus, it’s beautiful out here. The sun slanting toward the mountains in the distance is turning the maple trees in Josh’s front yard a blazing, golden yellow.
“He’s always like this,” I say. “He’s very generous with his time.”
She shakes her head like she’s in awe. “I don’t know how you did it.” She lets out a little giggle, her eyes still on Felix who is standing a few yards away talking to Josh, waving as the last kid finally pulls away from the curb. “Snagging a man like that. Especially with how different you are.”
I immediately bristle. I was feeling pretty good about my efforts to be mature and move past the differences I’ve had with my family, but all that effort flies straight out the window when Mom hits right at the heart of what it is I’m struggling to get over.
HowdifferentI am? What is that even supposed to mean?
Felix shoots me a worried look, his brow furrowed.
Did he hear her comment?
The thought floods my cheeks with embarrassment. I don’t want Felix to know how much this gets to me, how much I wish I had my parents’ approvalwithouta hockey player on my arm. I close my eyes and force a slow breath in through my nose, then out through my mouth.
“It was her music.”
My eyes fly open to see Felix stepping onto the porch.
“It was her music that made me fall for her,” he repeats. He holds out his hand, and I slip my fingers into his, letting him tug me to my feet. He sits down in my chair and pulls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms securely around me. “Before we started dating,” he says, “I would move my most comfortable chair right up to the wall that separates my apartment from Gracie’s just so I could sit and listen to her playing her cello. I’ve been listening to classical music since I was a kid but hearing someone as gifted as Gracie playing—there’s nothing like it. There’s no one like her.”
Felix is looking directly at my mom, so I can’t meet his eye. But…he really did that? He listened to me practicing? The thought almost makes me cry. If that doesn’t, the way he just defended me to my mother definitely will.
Something shifts in Mom’s expression. “Oh, well. That’s—we’ve always been proud of how talented Gracie is.”
Felix’s arms tighten around me. “Being such a gifted musician—aprofessionalmusician—it’s not all that different from being a professional athlete. It requires the same level of dedication, the same hours of practice, the same commitment to excellence. Your daughter inspires me, Mrs. Mitchell. You really should be so proud.”
Okay. Tears are definitely falling now.
“You know,” he continues, “Gracie has a symphony concert in a couple of weeks. Right here in Harvest Hollow. Maybe we could all go together and listen to her play. I can only imagine what that level of support would mean to her.”
“Felix,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “Please don’t.”
Mom’s face blanches the slightest bit, but then tears spring to her eyes and she nods, a hand lifting to her chest. “I…uh…actually, that sounds nice.” She looks at me, her blue eyes brimming with tears. “We always loved hearing you play, Gracie.”
Felix gives my waist a gentle squeeze. It isn’t much, but it’s the encouragement I need. “Honestly, Mom. It never really felt like it.”
She nods, her gaze dropping to the floor for a long moment. Finally, she looks back at me and nods. “No, I suppose it didn’t. But…I know it probably doesn’t matter now. But if I could go back…Gracie, I’d do things differently.” She motions toward the house. “It was Josh who made me realize. When he walked away from hockey to be there for Jadah, for Maddox, without even a second thought, well…they do always say your children are your greatest teachers.” Mom sniffs one more time, then stands up, wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll make some coffee for everyone.”
Josh has already gone back inside, so when Mom leaves, Felix and I are alone on the porch.
I immediately drop my head onto his shoulder. “You didn’t have to do that.”
