Page 51 of How to Kiss a Movie Star
I give her one last wave before moving back into my very empty house. It’s not that my house in Malibu was any less empty. I lived alone there, too. But it’s hard to evertrulyfeel alone when you live in Southern California. A hundred steps outside my front door in any direction, and I could find people, whether I wanted to or not.
Solitude means something entirely different out here.
I use my phone to turn on some music then drop onto my living room sofa. I call my mom first and talk her through the situation with Audrey, including all my reasons for deciding a charade is necessary in the first place.
Mom is, as I expected her to be, hesitant to think pretending is ever a good idea, but we still end the conversation on a good note. “I trust you, Flint,” she says. “If this is what you need to do, then do it. But be careful, all right? I don’t want either of you getting hurt. Though, I can’t say I’d mind if you happened to fall in love for real.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I say. “I’ll keep you posted.”
I text Olivia and give her a quick update, then I pull up Audrey’s number and create a new message. Nerves jump in my gut as I scroll through the pictures, picking out the best ones. Actually, the best ones are the ones where I can see Audrey’s face, but I can’t post those, so those are just for me.
I finally decide on three, one of Audrey looking out at the mountains, and two more of the two of us together, including the one that Joni thought was such a big deal. If I’m going to really sell this, that picture is my best bet. I send them over, adding a message after all three photos go through.
Flint:What do you think? Are you okay with me posting these?
I tap my phone nervously against my palm, then send one more message.
Flint:Hope it’s okay that I’m texting instead of Joni.
Flint:I figured that would be easier considering all the time we’re about to spend together.
I sit and stare at my phone for what feels like an hour but probably isn’t more than a few minutes. Either way, Audrey doesn’t respond.
I double check the number, making sure I didn’t mess it up somehow when I saved it into my phone, but the numbers all match.
I’m being stupid. Just because she hasn’t responded doesn’t mean shewon’trespond. She could be away from her phone. On a walk. Taking a shower. Watching a movie with her sisters. Ornotwatching a movie—this is Audrey we’re talking about—but there are a hundred different reasons why she might not be available to respond immediately.
Also, when did I become so insecure about a woman texting me back?
What even is this?
Grumbling, I pull up the ongoing text thread I’ve shared with my brothers as long as we’ve all had cell phones. One of them is bound to respond right away and clearly, I could use the distraction.
Flint:Hey. Just a heads up. Claire won’t stop talking about the two of us getting back together, and it’s becoming the THING people want to talk about instead of the actual movie we were in. My publicist suggested it might be good to give the impression I’m seeing someone else.
Brody:What does that even mean? How do you do that if you aren’t actually seeing someone?
Perry:Photoshop?
Flint:Not photoshop. I’m not that desperate.
I pull up the photo of Audrey and me and send it to my brothers.
Lennox:Dude. That’s a real woman in your arms. Care to explain?
Flint:It’s Audrey, and she’s in on it. She came over this afternoon and posed for a couple of photos.
Brody:Audrey agreed to pose as your girlfriend?
Flint:Is that really so hard to believe? She’s also attending the premiere with me in a few weeks.
Brody:Also as your girlfriend?
Flint:Fake girlfriend.
Unfortunately,I think to myself, but I’m not about to admit that to my brothers. It’s bad enough they’re all enjoying their happily married lives. They don’t need another reason to feel sorry for me.
Flint:I just need a buffer from Claire. If I go alone, she’ll corner me and force me into a compromising position.
