Page 101 of How to Kiss a Movie Star
I trust Flint.
Ten times more than I trust Ed Cooper.
Nate pulls open the passenger door and helps me in, shutting it firmly behind me. Seconds later, Nate is in the driver’s seat, and we’re leaving Ed Cooper and his stupid camera behind.
“Are you all right?” Nate asks.
I manage a weak nod, but my mind is spinning. I can’t stop thinking about what might have happened had Nate not been there.
What if I’d been alone?
Nate checks his rearview mirror at least a dozen times on the way home. I don’t see anyone following behind us, but that’s little comfort. If Ed Cooper figured out where I work, I’m sure he knows where I live.
“Do you think he’ll come to the house?” I manage to ask, shocked by how shaken I sound.
“If he does, I’ll be there,” Nate says. “I won’t let him close to you, Audrey.”
Ten minutes later, I’m on the couch in my living room with a bowl of Lucy’s chicken noodle soup in my hands, flanked by a sister on either side. Nate called the cops first—he suspects Ed Cooper broke parole when he left California—then he calls Flint. I can only hear his side of the conversation, but it’s enough to tell me how worried Flint is.
I appreciate his worry. And Nate’s worry. And the way my sisters are hovering like I might break apart if they aren’t here to hold me up. But I also feel like I’m wearing too-small shoes.
The attention. The security measures. All thisconcernfor my welfare. Two months ago, the only thing threatening my peace and safety was the occasional run-in with a black bear. And then, I knew exactly what to do to keepmyselfsafe. I was capable. Confident. Strong enough to handle whatever situation I found myself in.
But I’m in over my head with this. Ididget away from the photographer today. But what if it happens again?
After eating and reassuring my sisters that I’m okay, I escape into my room and collapse onto my bed. I stare at my ceiling fan for a long time, watching the blades spin slowly around.
Right after Flint asked me to go to LA with him, Lucy talked me down from a full-on freak-out by treating my circumstances like a science project. We examined the facts. Formed reasonable hypotheses and logical conclusions. And it worked.
Taking a deep breath, I try to do the same thing, but my thoughts are so jumbled, I just keep thinking myself in circles.
When my phone rings an hour later, the screen lighting up with Flint’s face, I have no more clarity than I did before, but I can’t not answer—not when I know how worried he must be.
I grab my phone, pressing a pillow against my chest as I answer the call. “Hi, Flint.”
“Hey. How are you?” he asks, concern filling his voice. “How are you feeling?”
“Still a little shaken up, but I’ll be okay.”
“Audrey, listen,” he says. “I want you to move into my house for a few days. At least until they find Cooper and arrest him. Take your sisters with you. You’ll be closer to Nate, and you’ll have a security system to keep you safe when Nate can’t be close by.”
I close my eyes. I suspected this was what Flint would want. Logically, it makes sense. If I’m in danger, his house is a lot safer than mine. But my physical safety isn’t the only thing on the line here. Nate already assured me there would be eyes on my house around the clock. I’ll be safe here at home. And right now, Ineedto be.
A sense of calm settles into my heart. This is the right call. Even if it’s a painful one.
“I don’t want to move into your house, Flint.”
He’s quiet for a beat. “I don’t mean permanently. Just until we can make sure—”
“I know what you mean,” I say, cutting him off as gently as I can. “And I appreciate the offer. But Flint…” I hesitate, hating the tremble in my voice. “I just need to be in my own space for a while. I think I’m feeling…” I pause, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. “Swallowed, I guess? Like my life is somehow getting sucked up into yours. And that’s not your fault, and I’m not saying I don’t want us to be together. I just need to breathe a minute, and that’s going to be a lot easier in my own house.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” he says.
“Flint, your house is a fairy tale. It’s magical and beautiful and full of white squirrels, and I love every single thing about it.All of itis a fairy tale. You. The private jet and the beautiful clothes and the people ready to wait on me hand and foot. It’s amazing.Of courseit’s amazing. But it also makes it easy to get swept up. I’m Cinderella at the ball, only, I was never the girl who sat around and dreamed about ball gowns. I would have totally ruined that story because I would have taken one look at the royal invitation and been like, ‘You know what? I’m good. Y’all have fun at the party. I’m gonna hang back and chill with the mice.’”
He chuckles. “That’s one of the things I love most about you. I don’t want you to change, Audrey. I just want you to be safe.”
“I know.I knowyou do, and I appreciate that. But this is about more than my safety. It’s the conversation wedidn’thave when we argued after the premiere. Every time I’m faced with a new reality ofyourworld, I have to stop and ask myself how it’s going to impactmine. How will being together influence my work? Will I travel with you whenever you’re filming? Will I stay in Silver Creek? Will I require a security detail even when we aren’t together? Every answer impacts the level of autonomy and control I have over my own life. I realize that’s the case with every relationship. But we can’t pretend like there aren’t special circumstances here.”
