Page 73 of Merritt and Her Childhood Crush
“I am going to kiss you,” he says. “Unless you don’t want me to, in which case, please speak now or I won’t be able to—”
Stop? Hold back? Survive?
I have no idea what Hunter would have said because I tug his face to mine and answer him without words.
SIXTEEN
Hunter
I haven’t ever testedmy tables to see if they can hold an adult human. But as my mouth moves against Merritt’s and my hands sink into her hair, feeling the soft strands, I’m glad to know the table can hold her weight.
Even if it didn’t—worth it.
If I ever do get around to selling my tables, I wonder if this could be a selling point?
Will withstand a heavy makeout session! Money-back guarantee!
Mer pulls back. Her pupils are wide and dark, but she blinks and the expression in her eyes is suddenly full of concern.
“Are you with me?” she whispers. “It feels like you’re a million miles away.”
I start to answer yes, then realize I’ve been thinking about my tables instead of the gorgeous woman I was kissing. The one I’ve dreamed about kissing for years, thinking it would only ever be a dream.
So, why am I not here in the moment? Why am I thinking about the features of tables I’m not even selling?
The answer is immediately obvious. And it makes me feel small.
I’m afraid.
Merritt lightly strokes my cheeks. “I can’t read you like I used to. But I’m getting some mixed signals. You wanted to kiss me, but you’re distracted. You didn’t want me to come inside your house, and I can’t for a minute believe that it’s because you’re messy.”
I swallow, looking past her, to where a row of familiar tools hangs on the wall. I’m not ready to explain why she can’t come inside. I should have known she wouldn’t miss me being weird about it. And as for why I’m distracted … do Ireallyneed to confess my fears?
Her hands tug a little on my jaw, drawing my gaze back to hers. “Hunter?” Merritt whispers.
I’m suddenly filled with a new fear. She’s going to tell me she’s leaving or that this was a mistake or—
“I’m scared too,” she says.
Merritt was wrong—she can read me like I’m the book she kept on her bedside table all these years, picking it up every night to read.
Maybe it shouldn’t, but her confession makes me bold.
“I don’t know if I can stand losing you a second time,” I confess. “I want this. I want you. But not if it’s going to end.”
She nods, then looks away. “I feel the same, which I know isn’t fair because I was the one who hurt you. The one who left you.”
“The one who’s here temporarily.”
I want her to argue—Ineedher to argue—but her mouth opens, then closes. She gives a halfhearted shrug and sniffs. I’m horrified to see her eyes wet. The last thing I wanted was to kiss her and make her cry.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my tone gentler. I run a hand up her back and don’t miss the way she shivers under my touch.
“I can’t make promises, Hunter.” She swallows, my eyes tracking the slight movement in her throat. “Not yet. I’m in limbo here. No job, no home, no idea what comes next.”
Though I completely understand, some caveman part of me I didn’t know existed wants totellher what’s next. She’ll move in here with me. Or if she doesn’t like being all the way out here, I’ll move to wherever she wants, so long as it’s on the island. It’ll be more complicated with Isabelle. And with the dogs, used to having free rein of acres, but it would be fine.
Only … I can’t make the choice for Merritt.
