Page 39 of Love Unexpected
“So, I tell him before we go, and there’s no trip, or I go on the trip and commit to keeping the secret until we get to Kansas.”
“Pretty much,” Alex said.
I had made a lot of choices in my life, most of them practical and reasonable and dictated wholly by my desire to avoid anything that might cause my anxiety to flare up. I had isolated myself through most of high school, avoiding activities that weren’t absolutely essential. I’d skipped homecoming, prom, all the after-graduation festivities. I had chosen a university close to home so that I could keep the same therapist and be close to my parents should I need them. It was only in my college years that I had finally gotten better at taking small risks, at letting people in and forming real friendships. But even then, I still spent a lot of time watching other people do fun and exciting things. I became known as the responsible one, the one to keep everyone else from getting too crazy.
It wasn’t so much that I had felt driven to be responsible. Mostly, I’d just been terrified.
I was so damn tired of running scared. Of letting the threat of an anxiety attack keep me fromliving.
“Okay,” I said, surprised that I’d managed to get the word out for how dry my mouth suddenly was.
“Okay?” Alex asked.
I nodded. “Okay. Let’s go to Kansas.”
Jade grinned and Greta clapped her hands. “This is going to be amazing,” she said.
“We just have to figure out one thing,” I said. I instinctively looked around the office for a water bottle. My tongue felt a little like sandpaper. “Who is going to persuade Isaac to take me with him? An on-air road trip with a random web designer that has never been in front of the camera seems like a ridiculous decision.”
“Leave that part to me,” Alex said. “I can handle Isaac.”
Later, I texted Marley an update. She’d been getting regular information regarding my moonlighting as Ana and would, I was positive, find this particular development absolutely hilarious. Even I had to laugh when I read back over my message.
So. Exciting news. I’m going on a road trip with Isaac, as Rosie...so that we can drive to Kansas City... to meet Ana. Did I mention the car we’re driving is tiny? It’s a very tiny car. So tiny I’m worried there won’t be enough oxygen inside.
WHAT,Marley texted back.I need more details. He’s making the trip...and you’re making it with him? Why you? That feels random. Amazing, but random.
I texted back a quick summary of my conversation with Alex and the orchestrations that had landed me in such a weird situation.
This is so amazing,Marley texted when she finally understood the whole picture.
And ridiculous,I texted back.Don’t forget the ridiculous part.
Rosie.The period after my name was enough for me to know she was asking for my attention, preparing to say something big. I bit my lip while the blinking dots bounced along my screen.
I’m so proud of you,her next message read.This. Is. Brave.
Marley knew better than anyone how huge—how intimidating—this would feel to me.
I’m scared,I texted back.
I know. But you got this. You’re going to do great. And also, HE IS GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.She followed her message with a heart eyes emoji and seventeen red hearts.
No one would ever say Marley wasn’t optimistic.
If only a little of her optimism could rub off on me.
Chapter Fourteen
Isaac
“What about Vinnie?” I lay on the couch in the corner of my office and tossed a mini basketball over my head.
“I already asked him,” Alex said. “He’s got some family thing with Greta this weekend.”
“And you’re sure Jade can’t go?”
“She said to keep her on as back up, but the baby is teething, and she doesn’t want Diedre to deal with it alone.”
