Page 31 of Love Unexpected
I admired his dedication and sincerity. It was likely the very thing that made him so good at what he did. He reallydidconnect with people. That he was so transparent, so open, had to be largely why so many people loved him. And yet, I couldn’t help but wonder how that affected his personal relationships. Dialing into the needs of ten million viewers was a tall order.
But at least he hadsomeself-awareness. The fact that he was concerned about whether or not he’d crossed a line in sharing my artwork was encouraging. Even if his concern had been prompted by his friends. It was flimsy reassurance, but I clung to it just the same.
“It’s admirable that you’re willing to be so open with your fans. I’m sure it’s why they like you so much,” I said, my gaze focused firmly on my hands. If I looked him in the eye, he’d likely see the question Ireallywanted to ask.
“I sense a but to that statement,” he said.
I winced.
He was good.
I looked up to meet his gaze.
“I’m an open book, Rosie,” he said with no small measure of chagrin. “You can ask me whatever you want.”
Willing courage into my words, I asked, “But you have to consider the possibility of collateral damage, right?” I thought about his friends and the way they’d all scattered when they didn’t feel like being in one of his videos. “Have you ever worried that living so publicly might have a negative influence on your private relationships?”
Isaac only stared. There wasn’t malice in his expression, but neither was their warmth. It was the most impassive I’d ever seen him look.
“Sorry. That was probably impertinent. It’s just...the idea of living so publicly is so far outside ofmycomfort zone. Take your new friend, for example. You said she’s more introverted, right? And Jade was concerned she might not like you sharing her stuff publicly?”
“I see where you’re going. Do I worry that the public nature of my life would be off-putting to someone like her, eliminating the possibility of us having a relationship?”
I squelched the sudden desire to squeal over the fact that he’d used the wordrelationshipand settled for an encouraging nod.
“It’s a reasonable question. But honestly, I don’t. It’s not like people don’t know what they’re getting into, you know? My career is very public. And I can’t change that.”
The hope beating in my heart dimmed the tiniest bit. Surely he didn’t think thateveryaspect of his life had to be shared with the world at large.
“I mean, obviously I’ll always respect people’s boundaries. But I also expect people to understand thatIdon’t really have any. And that works for me.” Isaac stood and reached for his phone. “On that note, I should get back to work.”
I nodded and stood. “Me too, actually.”
“Yeah, with that monster of a boss you’ve got, you’re probably nervous to take breaks at all.” He shot me a sideways grin. “Thanks for your help,” he said before I could reply.
I followed him across the patio toward the door that led back into the warehouse. “I don’t think I actually—”
“No, you did help,” he said cutting off my protests. “Icanrespect Ana’s boundaries, so I’ll for sure ask before I share her stuff on the show again. But you’ve also helped me recognize that I can’t apologize for the public nature of my life or pretend like it isn’t my reality. It is what it is. And if this is going to go anywhere”—he waved his phone in front of him, referring to, I assumed, his online relationship with Ana—“she’s going to have to be okay with that.” He opened the door and held it for me as I crossed in front of him. “Collateral damage or not.”
Isaac pushed the button for the elevator while I waited silently beside him. Would I be okay with Isaac’s love for the spotlight? With him having ten million best friends?
I’d been watching Isaac’s videos and live streams for years and had seen the countless photos that went up on various social media accounts multiple times a day. Those avenues of content had shown me the inside of his house, the car he drove, every corner of his studio and office. Loving him from afar, all those windows into his life had made it easier to feel like I knew him, but now, up close, close enough to reasonably imagine having an actual relationship—at least a friendship—with him, all those windows were terrifying.
Despite the surreal thrill of knowing Isaac was actually consideringmeas a possibility, one stark reality was crystal clear for the first time: I would never be the girl okay with living life in front of a camera.
Chapter Twelve
Isaac
I sat in Alex and Dani’s living room, my feet propped up on their coffee table and Dani’s feet resting on my lap. She leaned against Alex, whose arms were around her and resting on her stomach, which was just starting to show signs of the baby she carried.
It was weird seeing her pregnant. Not bad. Just... weird.
“I’m not saying I’m disappointed in the interview,” I said, resurrecting an argument Alex and I had been having for weeks. “Drake was a nice guy. I just don’t want to do another one. That’s not who I am.”
“But you’ve seen the numbers from that episode, Isaac. You can’t argue against them. Your new subscriber rate has tripled since the episode aired.”
I shook my head. Alex was thinking like a numbers guy. But I sensed in my bones that this wasn’t the change we needed. I couldn’t explain beyond that. I was willing to admit we needed a change, but I wouldn’t pander for attention with celebrity interviews. We just needed something exciting—something that made viewers who had been with us for years as excited to watch as they had been when they’d first started. I just had to figure out what it was.
