Page 22 of Love Redesigned
“Is it just you and Isaac living together?”
Ha. If only.“No; the whole team lives there. It’s a pretty big house.”
Her eyes went wide. “Tyler? Vinnie?”
I nodded. “And Mushroom. I’ve never actually figured out what his real name is. Oh, and Steven. He’s the co-host Isaac hired last year.”
“Mushroom’s name is...Marvin? No. Marshall. Which almost sounds like Mushroom? I haven’t met Steven.”
“They’re all friends from high school, right? Except Steven?”
She nodded. “From elementary school, even. At least Tyler and Vinnie have been around that long.”
“It’s a very interesting group,” I said. “But honestly, it hasn’t been as difficult as I expected it to be. We all get along, and I appreciate how much they look out for each other. They treat each other like family. And they are genuinely the most nonjudgmental group of men I have ever been around.”
“Hey-hey, you do you, bro,” Dani said, in a voice lowered to sound like her brother.
“That was an unnervingly accurate impression,” I said. “But mocking aside, thatiswhy I like it there.”
“I betyouwere overdressed your first day of work.”
I laughed. “I feel overdressed when I’m wearing the most casual thing I own.”
It couldn’t last, not with the history between us, but it was nice talking back and forth like we used to. It felt good to laugh with her.
After a few moments of silence, she stopped one more time to face me. “I hear what you’re saying, but I’m still not sure it adds up in my brain. You and Isaac living together, working together every day. I don’t want to make it all about me, but he’smybrother. Is that part not weird for you?”
I sighed. “It was, at first. It felt a little like I was torturing myself just by being around him. But I was desperate. Things with Alicio got really bad. I had to separate myself from him, from the whole company, and it didn’t feel like I could do that without leaving the city. I looked for work in Charleston, but nothing felt right. When Isaac reached out to me, he tossed me a life preserver. I actually didn’t plan to move in long term, not initially. I thought I’d find my own place somewhere, but then your brother made it really easy to stay, and odd as it may seem, I feelacceptedliving with him and his friends. I never felt that living here in New York.”
She breathed out a painful half-laugh, half-cry. “You didn’t feel accepted by me?”
I closed my eyes. “Of course I did. At times, anyway. But Dani, our life was so wrapped up in LeFranc. And the LeFranc version of myself—the parties, the entertaining, the high society networking—thatisn’tme.”
She turned and started walking again and I hurried to catch up.
“Is that supposed to make it easier for me?” Her steps grew faster as she spoke. “That after you abandoned me without any explanation, you had a Kum-ba-yah experience at my brother’s house and found your true self? Why didn’t you call me, Alex? You can’t even claim out-of-sight, out-of-mind on this one. You work with Isaac! A living, breathing reminder that I, his twin sister, exist.”
“I know that. I know I treated you badly and if given the choice to do things differently, I would take it a thousand times over. But I felt betrayed, too. There was so much pressure from Alicio. Keeping up appearances, playing the role of a LeFranc in New York society. I was such a disappointment in that regard and yet, it was a world that seemed so important to you. That version of me was the one you wanted to be with. I tried to talk to you about Sasha, but youalwaystook her side. Your star was rising, and my concerns were nothing but a flaming arrow that might shoot it down. I didn’t know what to say to you. I didn’t think you would understand.”
“I didn’t love you because you’re a LeFranc.”
“I’m not a LeFranc,” I shot back.
She huffed. “You know what I mean.”
Her words sparked something deep inside me and a dormant insecurity flickered to life. It wasonlya flicker now, a year after we’d broken up, but it was easy to remember the raging inferno it had been when I’d walked out. She’dsaidshe didn’t love me because of my ties to LeFranc. And maybe she was telling the truth. But she’d never managed to convince me.
“Maybe you didn’t,” I said, my voice doubtful despite my effort to remain neutral. “But my connections didn’t hurt.”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes in a way that felt familiar; it’s not like we hadn’t had this argument before.
She paused a long moment, her eyes trained on the sidewalk. “You said things got bad at LeFranc. Was it because of Sasha? Was any of what you believed true?”
I shook my head. “I wasn’t given the opportunity to prove anything before I left.”
My jacket dropped off her shoulder; she caught it, pulling it back up and finally slipping her arms through the sleeves. “But you still believe it.”
I ran a frustrated hand across my face. “Dani, I can’t talk about this with you.”
