Page 50 of The Widow's Irish Secret
‘I’m very dear to you?’ Cillian frowned. ‘Is that all you can say?’
‘Well, I…’ Tricia stopped, lost for words. She wanted to say so much more to him but there was no time. The two little girls were in the campervan and would come out at any moment and wonder what was going on. Children, she knew, picked up vibes very quickly and the vibes that were in the air between her and Cillian would be obvious to them – or anyone that was watching them.
Cillian glanced at his van and then stepped closer. ‘I’m going to say this very quickly,’ he said, looking into Tricia’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry I flew off the handle and behaved like a six-year-old. I hope you can forgive me.’
‘Of course I forgive you,’ Tricia said. ‘And I want to tell you?—’
‘I think I’m in love with you,’ he cut in. ‘That’s howIfeel. Think about that when you have the time. And you might also consider the problem of the lack of trust between us. If that can’t be resolved, we have no hope of even being friends.’
Tricia put her hand to her heart, stunned by his words. ‘Oh, Cillian. I’m sorry about everything. I know you’re right. But I can’t tell you anything until?—’
They were interrupted by Naomi climbing down the steps from the campervan. ‘This is anamazingvan,’ she squealed. ‘There’s a kitchen and a bathroom and a comfy sofa and curtains and even a TV!’
‘It’s the loveliest van in the whole world,’ Sophie shouted from the open door. ‘I want to sleep here tonight. Can I… I mean, may I?’
Cillian walked to the van and lifted Sophie down. ‘You know what? It’s not possible today because I have to go and see my sister. It’s her birthday today and she would be very cross with me if I forgot. So I have to first buy her a present and then bring it to her and then have dinner and birthday cake.’
‘Oh.’ Sophie looked up at him. ‘How old will she be?’
‘Sixty-four,’ Cillian said.
‘Wow.’ Sophie looked impressed. ‘That’s a lot of candles for her to blow out.’
‘Oh, yes,’ Cillian replied, bending down, his hands on his knees. ‘So you see why I have to go?’
Sophie nodded. ‘Yes. You may go. But come back another day and let me sleep in the campervan, okay?’
‘Me too,’ Naomi cut in.
‘I will indeed,’ Cillian promised. He rose and looked at Tricia. ‘So I’ll say goodbye now. Let me know how you feel about… that other thing. We have a long way to go before we can have anything to build on. Just think about that, okay?’
‘I will.’ Tricia nodded and shot him a shy smile, but he didn’t return it. Then they all waved as he slowly drove off. She felt a surge of warmth towards Cillian and the way he handled Sophie. She was also touched by his declaration of love and his apology. She hadn’t expected him to say that so soon, especially as she was still keeping secrets from him. But it had felt like it came straight from his heart. Maybe it would be all right in the end, even if it didn’t seem so right now. Whatever way it was she hoped with all her heart that their differences could be resolved. But if not, she would have to accept it and move on. ‘We have a long way to go,’ he had said before he left. That was true. But this was not the time to dwell on such things.
‘Bye, Mr Cillian,’ the girls shouted after the van. ‘See you soon.’
Tricia clapped her hands to attract their attention while she tried to shake off her thoughts of romance. ‘Okay, girls, now we have to get ready for the beach. I’ll make a little picnic while you find your stuff and then we’ll get going. What kind of sandwiches would you like?’
The girls told Tricia they both wanted banana sandwiches and once the picnic was packed and their swimsuits and armbands had been found, they set off to the beach, the little girls skipping ahead while Tricia followed, carrying the bags. She thought fleetingly about Cillian and Ted and how different they were: Ted considerate, thoughtful and loyal, Cillian more of a free spirit and perhaps not as dependable. Ted made her feel cared for and cherished but what about Cillian?He makes my heart sing, she thought.I feel so alive and young again when I’m with him. Ted is a friend but Cillian… He’s someone I could spend the rest of my life with and never be bored. But it might just be a dream and we will never get together. Unless…
She looked up at the blue sky and breathed in the fresh air that blew from the sea. She didn’t know how she would tackle whatever happened next. The legal problem in Donegal seemed like an unsurmountable mess that would never be resolved. If she was found guilty of some kind of fraud, she couldn’t explain her motives to Cillian. That would drive him away forever. She shivered as she thought about it and that threatening message and realised she needed help to tackle the lawyers who were after her. But where could she find it?
26
Later that evening, the girls fell asleep in Tricia’s bed when she read them a bedtime story. She ended up nodding off herself as she lay between the two little girls with Paddy the kitten on her chest again. Then they were all jolted awake around ten o’clock by Tricia’s phone ringing on the bedside table. Sophie started to cry and Naomi tried to comfort her while Paddy raced out of the room in a panic. The Tricia picked up the phone and discovered it was Cillian calling her. She had to tell him she’d call him back but it took over an hour to get everyone to settle.
She was finally able to pick up her phone an hour later and found a text message from him that made her heart skip a beat with joy.
I’m not giving up on us, he wrote.I think we should spend some time together and see if we can find the solution to our problems. Let’s take a walk on the wild side, throw all our fears and troubles into the wind and see what happens. What do you say? If you agree, I’ll let you know what my plan is. Just give me a yes or a no.
Tricia didn’t hesitate. It made her spirits soar to learn that he didn’t want to let go, either as a friend or something more.She didn’t care what he meant, she just didn’t want to lose him. If they became simply friends, that would be better than having parted on bad terms with a strained silence between them. She quickly texted back with ayesand a smiling emoji.
His answer came back within seconds.How about I pick you up on Friday evening for a magical mystery tour?
Lovely, she replied.Can I bring my new kitten? He is very well behaved.
Yes, that would be nice. I like cats. We will explore new places and create new memories for only you and me. See you then. Cillian xx
Tricia smiled, knowing that they would go somewhere she had never been to with Fred or anyone else. This way they would have their own memories. That sounded good to her, even if his suggestion frightened her. It was like embarking on a journey without a destination or plan. It clashed with her love of order in everything. But he was that kind of man: a free spirit who would go where his latest whim took him. She wondered how that would work if they truly became a couple. He was right, though. They needed to be together away from curious glances and gossip. She knew she had to forget about the secret he was keeping from her and not press him about it. She thought about her legal tangle in Donegal, that she hadn’t dared reveal to him. It had been on the tip of her tongue to tell Cillian but then she decided there was no point until she knew what would happen to her. It could change things between them when he found out. She wished she could tell him, but something had stopped her. But now, here he was, wanting to give them a chance.
