Page 28 of Charmless
“I don’t know what is wrong with you, Ella,” she said. “The prince is all any woman could desire, kind, considerate, handsome, intelligent and extremely heroic.”
I longed to point out that was a far better description of Horatio Crushington, but such a remark would only have added to Em’s distress.
“Instead of only thinking of yourself, think of the good that would come to your family if you wed the prince. I n-never imagined you could be so selfish.”
Sobbing, she fled from the parlor, leaving me to deal with the dismal task of packing up all this costly finery and returning it to the merchants. I felt more like sagging down upon the settee and weeping myself. Think about the good of my family? When had I ever done anything else? I reflected bitterly. Ever since my father had died, I had done my best to look after Em, Netta and Amy, managing our household, doing more than my share of cooking and cleaning when we could no longer afford a maid. Doing without things myself so I could delight them with a few indulgences, new parlor furniture for Em, a harp for Netta, miniature ponies for Amy.
I did not mind it, truly I didn’t. My world had been shattered when my mother died, and my father had become so distant. I felt so alone. After my father married Em, I had a family again and I loved them dearly.
That is why when Em accused me of being selfish, it hurt me deeply. The more so because I wondered if she was right. Itwouldmake all the difference to my family if I wed the prince. Luxury and security for all of us, the prospect of good marriages for Amy and Netta.
But what about Horatio? Things were strained between us now, but I did not yet despair of our ‘and they lived happily ever after.’ How could I throw away what might be my last chance of finding true love? The answer was, I couldn’t. Perhaps I was being selfish, but that was simply one sacrifice I was not prepared to make.
Still, I hated the discord that had sprung up between me and Em. I would have found it almost unbearable but for the unexpected support of my two sisters. Netta and Amy might well have joined their mother in urging me to marry Florian, but instead they took quite the opposite view.
“If you do not love the prince, certainly you should not marry him,” Netta told me solemnly. “Far better to wed a beggar if he is the man you adore.”
“Or a certain young sergeant of the guard,” Amy teased Netta, causing her to blush. But Amy echoed her older sister’s sentiments.
“Netta is right, Ella. You must not pay any heed to Mama. She is simply too old to remember what it is like to be in love. Besides, we only need one princess in the family. When I am wed to my beloved Dashiel, you and Netta shall marry whomever your heart desires.Ishall decree it.”
Amy had been so earnest when she said this, it had brought a lump to my throat. I knew that she donned her best frock every morning, waiting for a prince who was never going to come. It was foolish of her to believe that she had found her true love in one night and to continue to put faith in a prince’s empty promises. But I saw so much of myself in Amy, the innocent andromantic girl I had been at the age of seventeen when Ryland had cruelly deceived me. It pained me that I could do nothing to shield my little sister from the heartbreak that awaited her. I could only be there to hug her and dry her tears.
Four days had passed since the fateful ball that had brought all this misery down upon my head. It felt like more than four months to me. I often found myself in my bedchamber, brooding over those glass slippers Mal had given me, wishing they really did have the power to make me invisible.
But no matter how wretched one feels, dust still gathers on the furniture, clothes require washing and supper needs fixing. By now, I had absolutely come to dread my visits to the marketplace, but I had no choice unless we were going to eat chocolates for dinner. (Although in my current state of mind, that did not seem such a bad idea.)
I trudged through the front hall in a thoroughly foul mood. Just as I reached the door, someone knocked loudly for admittance.
“Frap!” I swore and grimaced. I realized I had been swearing a great deal lately.
I yanked the door open and snarled, “What do you want?”
An elegantly attired older gentleman was standing on my front stoop, a nosegay of yellow flowers clutched in his hand. He reared back at my surly greeting. “Why, I am sorry, Miss Ella. Have I called at a bad time? I was hoping to see your stepmother and to give her these fresh from my garden.” He held out the small bouquet. “I recall how much Imelda always liked primroses.”
My face flushed with embarrassment as I recognized Em’s old beau. “Chuffy! I - I mean Lord Redmond. Pray forgive me. I did not mean to be so abrupt. I thought you might be someone else.”
“Prince Florian, perhaps? I had heard His Highness was courting you.”
“Yes, you could call it that.” I sighed, bracing myself for the usual hearty congratulations.
But Lord Redmond frowned. “I hope you are not planning to accept his offer of marriage.”
“No, I most certainly am not,” I stammered in surprise.
“Good. I know all the girls up in the Heights think Florian, handsome and dashing and all that, but he really is a worthless young man, spoiled and selfish like most of the king’s sons. I am glad that you are too sensible to be charmed by him.”
Chuffy patted my hand in an approving fashion. “You could do much better for yourself. What about that splendid officer I saw you with at the ball?”
“Commander Crushington?”
“Yes, that’s the chap. I got the distinct impression you rather fancy him?”
“Well, I… ” The blush that stole into my cheeks was more than answer enough.
His lordship chuckled. “And why not? He struck me as an intelligent, honorable sort. Very useful, the way he helped after your sister imbibed too much of that cheap swill our king calls wine.” Chuffy winked at me. “And I am sure it doesn’t hurt that the commander is quite a good-looking chap, eh?”
I grinned at his lordship, suppressing a mad urge to hug the man. With the entire kingdom expecting me to marry Florian, Lord Redmond was like the gust of a fresh wind. I stood there beaming at him like an idiot for several seconds before I recollected my manners and invited him inside.
