Page 65 of Charmless
“Of course, you don’t.” Horatio gave me a frustrated look.
“I don’t!” I took a deep breath before adding, “But I could help you find him if you allow me to go with you.”
“Not a chance!”
“I realize I have given you no reason to trust me, but?—”
“No, you certainly haven’t.”
I winced at his bluntness. “Even if you tell Mal what Mercado said about how dangerous the orb is, Mal won’t believe you. He’ll fight to keep it.”
“That would be a huge mistake on his part.”
“Horatio, please. You feel betrayed and angry with me and you have every right to be. But don’t you see going after Mal this way is going to end in some horrible confrontation and it doesn’t have to be that way. Let me talk to Mal. He will listen to me.”
Horatio shook his head, his expression as obdurate as stone.
“You’ll never find him on your own. You’ve tried before.”
Horatio scowled at the reminder. “Misty Bottoms teems with poor folk and rogues desperate enough to sell their own mothersfor a single coin and yet for some reason I cannot begin to fathom, they are as blindly loyal to Hawkridge as you are.”
“That is because there is another side to Mal you are unwilling to see.” I sighed. Horatio had once told me that he viewed the world in black and white until I had brought color into his life. I despaired of ever getting him to understand the subtle shades of gray that existed in Mal. Any more than I could ever persuade Mal to understand Horatio’s stern code of honor.
“Please,” I said, clutching at Horatio’s arm. “I love both of you. I could not bear it if either one of you was hurt.”
“A little late for you to be worrying about that now,” he said, pulling away from me. “I don’t understand why you keep defending that criminal. Why do you love him so much when it is obvious, he does not care a frap for you? If he did, he would never have asked you to steal that orb. If he truly loved you, he would have protected you.”
“Mal might have asked me to help, but it was my choice. He tried to keep me safe by giving me these magic shoes that were supposed to turn me invisible.”
“Magic shoes? For mercy’s sake, Ella! How gullible are you where that man is concerned?”
My mouth twisted wryly. “I should have known the shoes wouldn’t work. Mal’s magic invariably never does. When I arrived at the ball that night and saw how well guarded the door leading down to the treasury was, I was ready to abandon the plan. Mal would have been disappointed, but he would have understood.”
“Then why did you still go through with it?”
“Because when Myrtle Hanson was arrested for swooning and the fight broke out, the door was left unguarded. I saw my chance and took it.”
Horatio stared at me with a mixture of incredulity and bewilderment. I gave a helpless shrug, knowing it was useless toexplain further how nervous and frightened I had been. But after I had stolen the orb and believed I had gotten away with it, I had felt a surge of excitement, a rush of triumph. That same thrill I had experienced with Mal when we had succeeded in pulling off some mischief during our childhood.
“There is more of the pirate than the princess about you,”Mal had told me, and I feared he was right. It was a shade in my character that my honorable Horatio would never understand and that thought made me unbearably sad.
“Mal didn’t compel me to do anything,” I said. “He has never regarded me as some helpless damsel. He sees me as his equal, strong, and resourceful.”
“I see you that way too, Ella. But I will always strive to keep you safe. I would die for you.”
The anguish in Horatio’s eyes matched what I felt in my heart as he turned away from me, pacing back to the window to stare outward. His voice was thick with exhaustion as he said, “Unfortunately, my ability to protect you could be coming to an end. Greenleaf has given me until sunset to retrieve that orb from you. I have already been unable to catch the person who vandalized the aura chamber. If I fail the king a second time, the wizard has made the consequences of what will happen very clear. I will be dismissed from my command and banished to patrol the northern border.”
I didn’t know if there was any chance at all that the shattered trust between me and Horatio could ever be mended. But if he was sent north, I would never see him again. I felt stricken with a mingling of despair and guilt. Mal and I were the ones who had chosen to steal that orb. It was not right that Horatio should suffer because of our reckless folly.
“Please let me help you find Mal and recover the orb.” I followed Horatio to the window. “I said I didn’t know where Malis right now, but I know where he will be. We agreed to meet later this afternoon.”
Horatio whipped about to face me. “When and where?”
I hesitated, fearing that I could be making a huge mistake by telling Horatio this. But if I ever hoped he might trust me again, I needed to start by being honest.
Exhaling a deep breath, I said, “Two o’clock at the Hawk’s Nest. But if you arrive there without me, Mal will bolt before you have a chance to say a word.”
“Not if I take him by surprise,” Horatio said.
