Page 14 of Charmless
This morning, however, the Hall resembled a castle under siege with Scutcheons everywhere. The garrison soldiers in their navy and dun-colored uniforms and floppy black berets guarded the main archway, while some marched along the parapets. More Scutcheons wielding halberds blocked the tower entrances, all tensed and ready to repel an imminent attack.
But the only invading army I could see was a crowd of some half-dozen very angry young women. The fashionable design of their frocks and bonnets marked them as being ladies from the Heights.
As furious as these girls were, I could not imagine the entire garrison had been called out merely to repel this petticoat onslaught. I crept closer, trying to get within earshot, yet remain as inconspicuous as possible. The girls directed their wrath at a strapping young officer who would have appeared formidable except for the boyish smattering of freckles across his nose.
The officer flung up his hands in a gesture of strained patience. “Ladies, please. For the third time, you cannot see Commander Crushington. He is unavailable.”
“He had best make himself available!” A thin girl with a pinched nose, who appeared to be the leader of the group, shook her finger at him. “Do you have any idea who I am?”
“No, miss.”
“I am the Honorable Miss Ardelia Vanderwix and I demand to see your commander at once.”
“And I am the slightly honorable Major Thackery Frackles and I am telling you that you can’t. Quad Hall is closed until further notice. If you have some complaint, you should take it to the Commander of the Heights and Palace Guard. His office is located at?—”
“I know where his office is,” Miss Vanderwix snapped. “Commander Berryhill is a fat lazy lout, too preoccupied with his breakfast to be bothered. He said that because we all bought that Elixir of Love?— ”
“AnElixir of Love?”Frackles could not quite suppress his smirk.
Miss Vanderwix pinned him with her steely gaze. “As I wassaying,we bought that false elixir from a peddler here in Midtown so that places the matter within Crushington’s jurisdiction.”
The major vented a wearied sigh. “What was this peddler’s name, miss?”
“How should I know some peasant’s name! That is the Commander’s job to discover.”
My breath caught in my throat. Ardelia Vanderwix had no notion about the identity of that peddler, but regrettably, I did. Blast you, Malcolm Hawkridge, I thought. I had warned my friend not to sell that stupid elixir. There was no such thing as a genuine love potion and even if there had been, Mal would not have been able to brew it. His magical efforts never succeeded. Magic, I might add, that he should not even have tried because he had no license. But did he ever listen to me? No!
I shuffled from foot to foot, torn between the urge to rush to Misty Bottoms and alert Mal that trouble was heading his way and my equally strong need to see need Horatio. Not only to reassure him that I had no intention of marrying the prince, but also to try to defuse this situation. I felt sick at the thought of a confrontation between my closest friend and the man I cared for so deeply. If only I could get to Horatio first before these women had a chance to file their complaint.
But as I edged closer, it was obvious that none of us were getting past Frackles. Locking his arms across his broadchest, he said, “Ladies, I shall forward your complaint to the Commander. When he has time, he will investigate it.”
“That is not good enough, Major Freckles,” Ardelia cried.
“The name is Frackles, miss and I strongly suggest?— ”
“Stuff your suggestions.” She stomped her foot. “I want Crushington to hunt that bald-headed rogue down and arrest him this instant.”
The other girls chorused their agreement.
“That’s right!”
“Chain him up in the town square.”
“Horsewhip him.”
“But that peddler was so handsome, and he had such a seductive smile.” A bubbly little blonde chimed in. When her friends glared at her, she amended, “I mean, yes, get that rogue. Tar and feather him.”
“If you will all just be patient—” Frackles began, but Ardelia cut him off again.
“I am done talking to you. Come on, ladies.” Miss Vanderwix beckoned to her friends to follow her beneath the arch, but when she attempted to sweep past the major, he moved to block her path.
“Get out of my way,” Ardelia snarled.
“Sorry, miss, but I have my orders. No one is to— ow!” Frackles yelped as Ardelia delivered a hard kick to his shins. As he hopped about, Ardelia led the surge forward, but the major was quickly reinforced by several other Scutcheons.
I could tell at once the poor soldiers were in something of a quandary. These were girls from the Heights, the daughters of aristocrats. Even lawfully restraining them, the Scutcheons were obliged to proceed gently. The ladies suffered from no such compunction, shrieking, slapping, and kicking.
I must admit I was impressed. Who would ever have thought those prissy girls from the Heights had it in them? I lagged,keeping clear of the guards, looking for an opening to dart beneath the arch. I finally saw my chance and rushed forward only to halt when someone boomed out, “What is going on here?”
