Page 94 of Disenchanted
“They hurt my feet.”
“Ella—”
“Besides that, they didn’t work.”
“But I gave you explicit instructions.”
“Which I followed exactly.”
“You must have done something wrong because those shoes were well tested. They worked just fine in my shop.”
“Well, they did not work for me.”
Mal flung up his hands in a frustrated gesture, looking as though he wanted to shake me. “Blast it all, Ella. I would never have agreed to let you do this if I had not thought you would be protected. When you couldn’t get the shoes to work, why didn’t you just forget about stealing the orb?”
“Because I promised you and when the fight broke out, I saw my chance and oh, what does it matter? I managed well enough without the shoes, didn’t I?”
“Except for being forced to get all cuddly with Crushington to keep from being arrested,” Mal grumbled.
I could think of many words to describe Horatio’s kiss. Breathtaking, passionate, tender, but definitely not cuddly. Since Mal was already looking jealous enough, I kept such reflections to myself.
“So, your kiss worked? Did your distraction allay the commander’s suspicions?” Mal asked.
“Not entirely. It was really Amy who did that.”
“Amy!” Mal looked confused as well he might. “What was she doing in the forbidden corridor? Did she kiss Crushington too?”
“No!” I explained briefly about Amy’s drunken tryst with Prince Dahl in the king’s wine cellar. I concluded by jabbing an accusing finger against Mal’s chest. “I consider you partly to blame for my sister’s behavior.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“You gave my sisters a bottle of that infamous potion of yours. What were you thinking?”
“I told you; my Elixir of Love is completely harmless. If Amy ran wild, blame it on the king’s cheap wine. It happens every year you know. Couples get tipsy at the ball and sneak off into the shrubbery. The royal ball is usually followed by any number of sword-point weddings and then months later an increase in the population.”
“And you never thought to warn me about that either?”
“Amy insisted things never went that far with the prince, didn’t she? I am sure you have nothing to worry about with her. The worst that will happen is she will wake up with a splitting headache tomorrow and be a sadder but wiser girl.”
“You had better be right or after I choke the life out of that smirking prince, I will be coming after you. You swore to me how smoothly everything would go tonight—”
“Never mind about that,” Mal cut me off. “Who else were you kissing? You said a couple of princes. Which ones?”
“Prince Florian, although it certainly wasn’t my idea. When he proposed to me, he pounced and gave me the sloppiest, revolting kiss. Do you know he actually thrust his tongue in my mouth?”
“Ah!” Mal nodded. “Obviously our prince has been spending time on the Isle of Lothmara.”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“The island is mainly populated by these voluptuous beautiful women, sirens skilled in the arts of every imaginable seduction. The things these women can do with their tongues can reduce a full-grown man to a quivering mass of—” Mal broke off with a discreet cough. “Not that I would know much about such creatures.”
“Oh no, of course not,” I said drily. “I wish the prince did not either. Florian’s kiss was utterly disgusting.”
“Only because the prince did not learn how to do it right. If you like, I could demonstrate the proper way to do a siren’s embrace.”
“I thought you just said you didn’t know much about such kisses.”
Mal grinned. “I know enough. So, who was the other prince?”
