Page 40 of Chosen
“No, I want to be alone,” I reply without turning to face him.
My walk toward the infirmary’s exit becomes a run. I feel everyone’s eyes on me as I pass by. And they’re judging me. I can practically hear them. I know they think I’ve gone mad, that I can’t be controlled. That I’m a monster.
I keep running, out of the infirmary, passing staff and Enforcers, ignoring them all. I reach my secret back exit and take the stairs, not wanted to feel suffocated in the elevator that will take me to the ground level.
I keep running until I make it outside were I immediately shed my clothing. I call to the beast that’s been fighting to make its way out as I drop my knees and plant my hands on the snowy field. A roar rips through my throat as my bone break, and reform to the beast I fight so desperately to keep at bay.
I give in to him and become that beast. My hands morph to paws and fur lines my back. To the homo sapien eye I now had the appearance of what was once called a polar bear before they’d gone extinct but my body in this form was less bulky and more muscular and my claws were longer. In this form my instincts were sharper. I could see further, smell things from a distance.
Even out here in the snow, I get the fate whiff of my breeder. As my thoughts drift to her, I wonder what she’d think of me in this form. She too would probably label me a beast.
I don’t know what’s going on in my sector, and I don’t know who to trust. I always thought I could depend on certain people to help me but I’ve never felt so alone than I do now. My upbringing wasn’t that of a typicalsuperious. Some would say I’d cheated my way to the top, but even in those earlier days when I was a nobody fighting for everything I got, I’d never experienced this low.
So I run. I run around the estate, reveling in the sensation of the snow pounding beneath my paws. A fresh wave of snow begins to fall, wetting my fur. I run the length of the seven square miles of the fortress’ estate and back without pause. My lungs are near capacity and yet I still run. At this point I don’t know if I’m running just to clear my head, running just for the sake of itor simply just running away. But I keep going until I my muscles scream for relief.
Even when I’m on the verge of collapse, I keep going.
Usually a long run makes me feel better but not this time around. I return to where I left my clothes and slowly call back my humanoid form. I pant and gasp for air as I morph.
I quickly dress with one destination in mind. When I’m back inside the fortress that suffocating sensation threatens to take me in its grasp once again but I’m single-minded in where I want to be.
This time I take my private elevator to my floor but don’t go to my room. Instead I go to the room down the hallway from mine. I place my hand on the heat sensor panel and the door opens.
I step into her room and am immediately hit by that scent I’ve become obsessed with.
Jamie is at her little table eating. In most circumstances I wouldn’t interrupt her meal, but I can’t stop myself from walking over to where she sits, yanking her out of her seat and pulling her into my arms to capture her mouth in a desperate, hungry kiss.
Chapter
Fifteen
JAMIE
I’d tried my hardest to reclaim the numb that had once wrapped itself around me in its cold embrace. That way, I didn’t have to experience the pain and misery that grips my heart.
And I blamed that damn Sector Leader.
Ever since that night we’d had sex, something inside of me changed. I’ve been overwhelmed by a plethora of emotions. Longing, wanting to feel his touch again to see if it had felt as good as I’d remember.
Loneliness, needing someone to talk to and understand everything I’ve gone through.
Sadness. It depresses me knowing that I’d departed from my family on such an abrupt note. I’d give anything right now to see them again, and tell them how sorry I am. I’d kill for another one of my mother’s hugs right now. I wouldn’t even mind Noah nagging me.
But the one emotion that keeps circling back, is fear. It scares the fuck out of me that when this assignment is over, I’ll be reassigned somewhere even more horrible than the last place. I think about the beatings, the starvation, being forced toperform disgusting acts for horrible people who refused to see my humanity.
It made me hate thesuperiousand their sympathizers. Yet, here I was, thinking about the Sector Leader. I’m no better than my sister, who I’d resented. I wanted to tell her I’m sorry for the way I’d treated when I entered Sector Leader Magnus’s manor.
On a brighter note, it seems I no longer have to deal with Rhia and Sahra. Wherever those two were I hope they weren’t in a position to treat anyone else the way they’d treated me. I will never understand homo sapiens turning on each other. I’d witnessed it plenty and it was enough to make anyone give up hope.
Willa was nice at least. For the past few days she’d taken care of me, rubbing that cream in my skin after my bath. And for the first time in months, my appetite had returned. The food was actually tasty even if I couldn’t eat much of it because my stomach was still adjusting to regular portions.
Still I savor every bite I can before my stomach reaches capacity.
Again my thoughts drift to the Sector Leader. Has he gone away again? I haven’t seen him for a couple days.
Just as push my plate away, my door opens. I expect to see Willa but standing in the doorway with his eyes amber instead of the usual light blue shade, he stares at me.
His usual well put together black uniform is disheveled as he had dressed in haste. His long black hair that was usually pulled back in a band was wild and unkempt. His broad chest heaved as if he just exerted himself.
